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Finding out you are pregnant when you are 14 years old can be an overwhelming and scary experience. You may be trying to figure out what to do. The good news is that you have options, including adoption. Call 800-722-7731 for confidential, commitment-free information.
Right now, you may be panicking. You may be thinking, “I can’t be pregnant at 14!” Take a deep breath and know there are resources to help. Just by reading this article, you are closer to finding the support and guidance you need.
While you may feel all alone, you should know that you are not the only one pregnant at 14 right now. Unplanned teen pregnancy is common. It may help to know that you are not alone, but you may still be feeling stressed and unsure of what to do. Read on. In this short guide, we will share steps to take as you navigate this unexpected situation.
1. Speak with Your Parents or Another Trusted Adult
If you are 14 and pregnant, you are likely shaking at the thought of telling your parents about your pregnancy. This is normal. Your parents may have a big reaction. If you are feeling elevated levels of anxiety over this conversation, it may be helpful to write down what you would like to say.
If your feelings about this discussion are too intense, it may be wise to share the news with another trusted adult first. This may be a grandparent, an aunt or uncle, or even a teacher with whom you feel comfortable. They may be able to help you break the news to your parents.
If your pregnancy is a result of assault, incest, or statutory rape, speak with a trusted adult and local authorities immediately.
2. Visit Your Doctor or Local Clinic
The next step for those pregnant at 14 is to schedule an appointment with a healthcare professional. This may be with your pediatrician or another medical clinic, such as Planned Parenthood.
It is important to get prenatal care as soon as possible, regardless of whether you plan to continue the pregnancy. When you are 14 and pregnant, there are some added risks of pregnancy, as your body may not be developed enough for labor and delivery. A doctor is the best source to ensure you are safe and healthy. A doctor is also a trusted source regarding your optimal healthcare options and whether pregnancy is safe for you.
Having your parents’ support – or the support of another trusted adult – is critical. You should bring this adult with you to your prenatal appointment so they can ask questions you may feel uncomfortable asking.
3. Contact an Adoption Agency for Guidance
Even if you are just 14 and pregnant, and your pregnancy was not planned, you can still get the help you need. As a young teen, you may not know about your unplanned pregnancy options. A professional adoption counselor can help you and guide you through this experience. They can explain your options and let you know what each path will look like for your health and future.
Here is a brief breakdown that an adoption counselor can discuss with you:
Parenthood. This option may have entered your mind, but it is one that requires much thought and consideration. Being pregnant at 14 may not mean you are ready to become a parent. Parenting is a 24-hour job. It is a life-long commitment that will completely change the course of your life. Many young teens facing unplanned pregnancy may lean on their parents for support in this decision.
Abortion. Depending on where you live, abortion may be an option for you. If you live in a state with restrictions on abortion care, you may be able to travel to another state for the procedure, but this can be costly. There are resources that can help cover these fees. Abortion is a medical procedure, so it is best to discuss this option with a healthcare professional before making any decisions.
Adoption. If you want to give your baby a bright future, adoption may be the right path for you. You may know that, being 14 and pregnant, you are not yet ready to become a parent. You may also feel that abortion is not right for you, either. Adoption is not an alternative to abortion, but it is a positive choice.
With adoption, you have the power to choose the adoption plan that best meets your needs. You can also choose your child’s adoptive parents. You can speak with them – or even meet them in person – before making your decision. Your adoption agency can help you find the perfect family for your baby and even arrange the conversation. They can be as involved in the discussion as you would like. The choices are all yours.
Choosing adoption also means having access to the supportive services you need. With a reputable, experienced, private adoption agency, such as Adoptions With Love, expectant/birth mothers planning adoption have access to the following services – at no cost:
- Financial assistance, including living expenses and even maternity clothes, as needed.
- Medical coverage. We can help you find a doctor or midwife with whom you feel comfortable, and cover any uninsured medical expenses related to the pregnancy and birth.
- Compassionate counseling. Our professional counselors are here for you 24/7, before and after the adoption is complete.
- Legal services. Our highly trained adoption attorneys can walk you through the adoption process and answer any questions you may have.
- Adoption designing services, to make sure you are comfortable and confident with your adoption plan.
- Ongoing contact. We see our birth mothers as a part of our family, and we stay connected for years following the adoption. We are always here for you!
4. Design an Adoption Plan
Adoption is no longer the taboo secret it once was in the past. Most adoptions today are open adoptions, meaning there is ongoing communication between birth and adoptive families. Your adoption agency can help you plan the perfect adoption plan for you and your child. You may choose between the following options:
With open adoption, you may build a strong relationship with your child’s adoptive family. You may choose to keep in touch via text messages, social media, emails, or even in-person reunions. The form and frequency are all up to you.
There are many benefits that come with open adoption, but it is not the right choice for everyone. You may feel that you want limited contact, or you may find that you do not wish to have any contact with the adoptive family once the adoption is complete. You can choose the adoption plan that makes you most comfortable and confident in your decision. There are no right or wrong choices when it comes to adoption plans.
Learn More About Adoption
If you are 14 and pregnant and want to learn more about adoption, contact Adoptions With Love today. We have been helping expectant/birth mothers who are pregnant at 14 since 1986. Call us any time of day, any day of the week – 800-722-7731, text us (confidentially) at 617-777-0072, or contact us online. We can help guide you through the adoption process with the love and support you need.