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You may be familiar with Emmy-nominated actor, Kate Mulgrew. She is well-known in Hollywood for her roles in “Star Trek” and the Netflix series “Orange is the New Black.” What you may be less familiar with is her role as a birth mother. This is Kate Mulgrew’s adoption story.
At the age of 18, Kate left her home in Dubuque, Iowa to study acting in New York. Shortly after, she landed the lead role in “Ryan’s Hope,” a popular soap opera. Kate quickly became one of the most-watched actors on daytime television. Then, in 1977, she found out she was pregnant.
“I was single, alone and flooded with terror,” Kate recalled in an op-ed for AARP The Magazine. “But I knew I would have that baby.
“The father of the baby suggested I have an abortion. My mother was neither physically nor mentally able to help me. So, I decided to give my baby up for adoption. It was a choice, the only one I could make.”
Her TV show wrote the pregnancy storyline into the script, and three days after giving birth, Kate was back on set. The first scene she filmed upon her return captured her character bringing her baby home from the hospital.
“Millions of people watched that day,” Kate remembered. “I almost faltered. I remember thinking, ‘If you cry, you will not stop. So you must not.’”
Placing a baby for adoption is a deeply personal decision. It is one that requires strength, devotion, and love. If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy, you may be considering adoption. While Kate used a term still used in everyday language today – “give my baby up for adoption” – those in the adoption community know that adoption is anything BUT giving up. Choosing to lovingly make an adoption plan for a baby is completely selfless. Placing a baby for adoption means placing their needs before your own wants. It is not an easy decision. It can be the best decision for the child. Choosing adoption means ensuring your child has a life full of opportunity, stability, and love.
Kate Mulgrew’s Adoption Search and Reunion
Kate had placed her baby for adoption with a nonprofit called Catholic Charities. The adoption was closed, as most adoptions were at that time, and the organization refused to give Kate any information about her daughter.
“Shortly after the adoption, I began searching for her in earnest,” Kate recalled. “I even hired a private investigator.”
Kate Mulgrew never forgot about her daughter or gave up the search.
“Then, in 1998, by chance, I ran into the nun who supervised the adoption. For 20 years, Catholic Charities had refused to give me any information about my daughter. Sister Una finally relented and sent the adoption registry forms to both my daughter and myself.”
Kate filled out and sent back the forms within the week. She was on the set of “Star Trek: Voyager” when her daughter called. Kate immediately took a flight to the West Coast to meet her daughter and her adoptive family.
Kate’s daughter, Danielle Gaudette, has also opened up to the experience of reuniting with her birth mother. She recalled the experience in an interview with People Magazine. When they met at a hotel in 1999, they spotted one another, rushed together, and hugged.
“’I believe I’m your mother,’” Danielle remembered Kate saying, to which Danielle responded teary-eyed, “’Yes, I believe you are.’”
“She really wanted to be a part of my life, which I wasn’t expecting,” Danielle said, “But I was open to it. Now, we have a very good relationship, a very good connection.”
Kate Mulgrew’s Daughter: A Bond Worth Building
“Today, I see Danielle as often as I see my sons, and we have grown very close,” Kate wrote in AARP. “She also has a close and loving relationship with my sons, Ian and Alec, her two half-brothers. Her adoptive mother died [in 2014.] Her father is generous, infinitely kind and as solid as a rock.”
When thinking about the mother-daughter reunion after so many years apart, Kate wrote, “We cried a lot. All we can do is move forward. So we do. When I told her I was writing a memoir that would include her, she was thrilled.”
Kate discussed her adoption journey in her 2015 memoir, “Born with Teeth: A Memoir.” She described the book as a way to honor the love with the truth.
“I was young and so wanted my life as an actress. There is no dancing around that,” Kate recalled. “As my friend Beth (to whom the book is dedicated) told me then, it’s all about what is best for the baby. But I had no idea of the cost.”
Kate found writing the book to be a cathartic experience.
“Going back through those memories changed the way I felt. There was a palpable lifting of anxiety, of something that was aching. It has given way to a new sense of freedom. Writing lifted whatever remnants were left of that torture, which I felt every day of my life. Writing this book, I finally felt disentangled.”
Most adoptions today are open adoptions. This can look different for each family, but it simply means there is ongoing communication between birth and adoptive families. If you are an expectant/birth parent considering adoption, you can avoid the years of searching and wondering that Kate experienced. You may choose to stay connected with text messages, phone calls, or in-person reunions. The form and frequency of contact is entirely up to you. Your adoption agency can help you design an adoption plan that makes you feel comfortable and confident in your adoption decision.
Learn More About Open Adoptions
If you are interested in making an adoption plan for your child, contact Adoptions With Love today. We can help you find the perfect adoptive family for your child. We can also help you custom design a plan that best meets your needs. Call us 24/7 for commitment-free information and support: 800-722-7731, text (confidentially) 617-777-0072, or reach out online. We can offer you the compassion, respect, and dignity that you deserve, working with you throughout the adoption journey – every step of the way.