A Father’s Role in an Unplanned Pregnancy

There is a common misunderstanding the expectant fathers do not want to be a part of the adoption journey. We rarely hear about the father’s role in unexpected pregnancies, or his place within adoption stories. It becomes easy to assume that he does not care enough to make a plan for his child. Yet this is not always the case. In fact, 80 percent of the birthfathers at Adoptions With Love participated in the adoption plan for their baby.

You can create a successful plan for your child, and engaging the biological father in this process can truly bring about a positive experience. As an expectant mother considering her options, you deserve incredible love and support. The father’s support can often be very meaningful.  Making a decision to parent or make an adoption plan will be difficult and emotional for him, also. Whatever path you choose will be a life-changing experience for the both of you and you can walk this path together.

Every pregnancy is unique, and yours will be exceptional whether or not the father is involved. You may or may not have a relationship with him and you may not know of his current whereabouts. If you are in a situation where it is possible and safe to include the father in your unplanned pregnancy, consider being open with him about your thoughts and your decision. He can be a huge part of this process and he may want to walk this journey beside you.

If you currently have a good relationship with the expectant father, you can help each other to carefully consider each of your options. Talk about your feelings towards having a baby, and how each possible option may affect your lives. If you are considering adoption as a positive choice, Adoptions With Love will offer you both individual counseling and guide you through the process.  There are always options in adoption. You both can decide on how you want your adoption plan to unfold. If you would like, you can choose a loving, adoptive family for your child together. You can even choose what type of contact you have with the family following the birth of your baby.

Even if you and the biological father are no longer together, you can both still create an individualized adoption plan. As an expectant mother, you may choose to have a fully open adoption.  An open adoption will allow you to maintain ongoing contact with both the adoptive family and your child. As an expectant father, he may be more comfortable with receiving pictures and letters from the family and not have ongoing contact. You each can define your own relationships with your child and with the wonderful adoptive family that you choose.

If you do not have a relationship with the father, or feel intimidated in telling him the news, it is okay. You will never have to contact him directly. A licensed adoption agency can still reach him through an attorney and present him with his legal parental rights. The relinquishment of parental rights will vary by state, so it is important to contact adoption professionals who are experts in these state laws. Adoptions With Love has the legal counsel to properly handle the rights of an expectant father.

Regardless of your relationship with the father of your baby, our compassionate team of counselors will help you develop an adoption plan for your child. You will never have to go through this alone. We understand that choosing adoption is one of the most responsible, loving and courageous decisions you can make. It is a challenging and emotional experience. You and the expectant father of your child should be proud in knowing that you gave your baby the best opportunities in life that he or she deserves. I For more information on a father’s role and rights in an unplanned pregnancy, find our extensive guide here:

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If you would like to speak with an adoption professional about your feelings, your concerns, or to start your own adoption plan today, call Adoptions With Love toll-free at 1-800-722-7731.


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