Adoptions With Love Blog

“Giving a Baby Up for Adoption”: What Expectant/Birth Mothers Should Know

If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy, you may be considering adoption for your baby. You may be looking to learn more about the adoption process, or trying to decide whether it is the right decision for you. It is important to know what adoption is and what you can expect as an expectant mother. It is also important to know that you are not “giving your baby up for adoption.” Adoption is not giving up.

Adoption is a positive choice that a mother makes for her baby. It is a thoughtful decision that takes great strength, compassion, and love. When a mother chooses adoption, she chooses to give her baby a life beyond what she can provide at the time – a life full of love, stability, safety, and opportunity. The phrase “give baby up for adoption” does not embody all this, yet has become a common way to talk about adoption. “Giving up a baby for adoption” is not an accurate description of what happens in the adoption process. When an expectant/birth mother decides to place her child with an adoptive family, she is choosing to give her baby a better life. She is putting her child’s needs above her own. She is planning for the rest of her child’s life, and therefore making a profoundly selfless and loving choice.

If you are considering adoption, you are most likely thinking of your child’s best interests. You want to give your baby the best possible life you can, even if it cannot be with you. You may want your child to have a stable and loving home, a great education, and many opportunities for his or her future. To choose to carry a child to term, give birth, and make an adoption is a brave and honorable decision. You are doing everything BUT giving up, in every sense of the term. You are giving it your all.

Rather than saying, “give my baby up for adoption,” try saying, “make an adoption plan.”

Making an adoption plan means planning ahead for your baby’s life. Should you choose to make an adoption plan, know that you can choose the family for your baby. You can make a plan that will make you feel comfortable. You can even choose an open adoption, which means you will have some form of contact or relationship with the adoptive family as your child grows.

At Adoptions With Love, every adoptive family agrees to an open adoption or semi-open adoption plan. You can choose how your adoption plan will go. It may involve email updates, texting or phone conversations, or letters and pictures – our caring social workers will help you go over each option. After listening to your wishes and researching hopeful parents, our staff will contact the adoptive family to help you move forward along in the adoption process.

Open adoption has been found to be a positive choice for both children AND birth parents. In fact, most children involved in an open adoption are very happy. Open adoption also gives birth mothers great peace of mind, knowing that they are still a part of their child’s life. While open adoption is a great decision for many expectant/birth mothers, it is certainly not the only option. You can also choose a closed adoption, if you wish to keep your personal information private, or if you think open adoption will be too difficult right now. Some women start with a closed adoption plan, but then open it up down the road. This is okay, too. Adoptions With Love keeps photos and letter-updates on file for every adopted child for this very reason. Whatever you decide, we will support you and your decision.

Adoption is a selfless, courageous choice for anyone who is not in the position to raise a baby. Do not let society or anyone in your life tell you that you are “giving your baby up for adoption.” Instead, tell them what you are actually doing: Giving an opportunity to your child for the rest of his or her life. You should feel proud and brave for considering this path for your child.

Making an adoption plan is a decision that is yours and yours alone. It is not something anyone else can push you to do, and it is not something you should feel pressured into by any means. Adoptions With Love understands that this is a life changing decision, and our loving staff will support and guide you along, without any bias or judgment.

If you would like to learn more about making an adoption plan for your baby, feel free to contact us anytime – day or night – at 1-800-722-7731. You may also text us confidentially at 617-777-0072.