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Chris and Brady are the proud parents of two beautiful children, both adopted through Adoptions With Love. Their family lives in Massachusetts, where life is happily filled with the joys and adventures of raising two young kids. But every family has a beginning, and for Chris and Brady, it started with the adoption of their first child. Recently, Brady sat down with Adoptions With Love to reflect on that life-changing experience, from the emotions of the adoption process to the moment they became parents. This is their story.
A Flurry of Happy Life Changes
Chris and Brady have been together for 12 years. The two met in Boston, where they began their life together. Once the COVID-19 pandemic hit, their lives – like many others – were changed forever.
“We were thinking about getting out of the city, and so we got married. We had this one year that was a flurry of great things,” Brady explained.
After purchasing a home on the South Shore of Massachusetts, they got a dog. They found themselves learning how to adjust to the rural life, which included the joys and challenges of home ownership and landscaping. Shortly after these many life changes, they realized that an even bigger adventure was in their future.
“After a couple years, we started to think, ‘Alright, we’re in a better spot.’” Brady shared. As they considered what was next, they realized they didn’t need to wait for a perfect moment. “I heard this quote recently that was, ‘When it comes to parenting, being ready is not a feeling, it’s a decision.’ Spiritually we’re ready, and emotionally and financially we’re ready.”
Another Flurry – This Time, a Baby
Once they decided they were ready, Chris and Brady contacted Adoptions With Love to begin the adoption process. From start to finish, the adoption took about a year and a half, which included time to complete the necessary interviews and home study process to receive approval.
“It was very different from what some families have done, but it was a flurry again. We got a call on a Friday, and Nancy said, ‘What are you doing tomorrow?’ I said, ‘I don’t know, what do you want us to do?’” he laughed as he recalled the experience of Nancy informing them that a birth mother had chosen them to adopt her baby.
“So, it was 24 hours, and we rallied the troops with family and friends, and we had just had a baby shower two weeks before. [Our son’s] bedroom at the time was totally full of packages and gifts from people, so we had to open everything and set everything up. But we got it all done with help, and that’s when the real journey of parenting started,” Brady shared.
Their son was born in November 2023, and before Chris and Brady knew it, he was a toddler. The couple recently began thinking about giving him a sibling.
“We started to think, ‘Yeah, we got this,’ and then ‘Should we start for number two?’ and that’s what we’ve done.”
Happy note for the reader: their son is a big brother! Since this interview, Chris and Brady have welcomed their second adoptive baby.
Choosing Adoption
For Chris and Brady, a same-sex couple, the decision to adopt was an easy one.
“From the beginning, it was really [between] two choices you could pursue. If you want children, you could pursue surrogacy or adoption, and we definitely did talk. I think any big decision you should weigh all your options. I think we just ultimately felt like there’s much more of a need and an opportunity when it comes to adoption. Some people want to pursue the surrogacy option, and that’s wonderful, and if that works for you, that’s great. It just felt like for us, the path that fit in our lifestyle more was adoption.”
Once they were confident that adoption was right for them, the search to find the perfect adoption agency began. After a simple Google search, Chris and Brady found the Human Rights Campaign, which connected them with several adoption agencies.
“We did reach out to all, and started the communications process,” Brady explained.
Ultimately, Adoptions With Love was the agency they chose.
“I think the thing that stuck out the most was the focus around trying to be as open as possible with the adoption process, understanding that it may not be right in particular situations, [and also the fact that] the birth parents are picking, and how they’re involved in the process. So, they’re making sure it’s a good fit with the adoptive families,” Brady said.
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Making the Adoption Plan Work for Everyone
Since Chris and Brady live in the same state as their son’s birth parents, open adoption has worked well for everyone involved. They have met his birth father, and they plan regular reunions with his birth mother.
“We meet twice a year,” Brady shared. “When we’re doing these adoptive new parents groups, it seems like for the families that are not in close proximity, geographically, they’re much more focused on sharing photos, and maybe some calls or something, whereas we lean into more like the visit is the big happening. Then, once it comes to planning that visit, I’ll reach out and share a big photo dump of, ‘Hey, since the last time we met, here are some photos and vacations or things that we’ve done.’’
Advice for Birth and Adoptive Families
Chris and Brady are now proud adoptive parents to two children. When asked for advice for those looking to adopt, he had two pieces of advice to share:
“There’s no such thing as too much love. It can be easy to get into your head about, ‘Well, is it going to be confusing? Are they going to try to take over our role? Things like that. So that’s sort of like the easiest simple breakdown of it. There’s no such thing as too much love.
“The other thing is that, as adoptive parents, we’re really the stewards of a future relationship for [our son]. When a lot of adopted children get older, they want to learn more and they want to reach out [to their birth parents], and there are times when that relationship hasn’t been maintained between the adoptive family and the biological family, and it’s harder. They’re left with more questions, and sometimes it’s too late to start that relationship. So, for us, whatever challenges we have to do with coordinating, it’s all worth it. Down the road, if and when [our son] is more curious and wants to engage, we’ll have kept that fire as warm as possible, so that they can step into whatever relationship makes sense, going forward, as they’re older and have much more agency themselves.”
For everyone considering adoption, Brady explained that it is much like any other road to parenthood, as it can be filled with twists and challenges. The family is figuring out what their son should call his birth mother, for example.
Brady also shared that what makes adoption a unique experience is the positive turn it can take.
“The road to adoption – whether its adoptive families or birth families – it can really be filled with uncertainty, pain, frustration, trauma,” Brady shared. “There can be a lot of things that can lead to this connection, that are really difficult, but something beautiful happens when that does occur, and it often leads to reward…There are often challenging paths that come together and create a rewarding future.”
Learn More About Adoption
If you would like to grow your family through adoption, contact Adoptions With Love today. We can help guide you through the adoption process. Call 617-964-4357, text 617-777-0072, or contact us online.