A Complete Guide to Putting a Baby Up for Adoption

The phrases “giving a baby up for adoption” and “putting a baby up for adoption” are outdated but still used in our everyday language. Instead of saying “put a baby up for adoption,” the adoption community prefers: “make an adoption plan.”

This is because adoption is a thoughtful act of love. It is not an easy decision for expectant/birth parents. Rather, it requires strength and selflessness. Those who choose to make an adoption plan choose to put their baby’s needs above their own. Choosing adoption means offering a child a future that is bright and full of opportunity.

Whether you are facing an unplanned pregnancy or have just given birth, you may be asking yourself: How do I put my baby up for adoption? How does placing a baby for adoption work? Is adoption the right choice for my baby?

Adoption is not the path for everyone, but it can be a positive choice for expectant/birth mothers who are not ready to parent now. Remember, you always have a choice. No one can make this decision for you. But if you are ready, you can find support and help making an adoption plan.

Adoptions With Love is here for you. In this guide, we will explain the adoption process, considerations around “putting a baby up for adoption,” and how this choice can create a bright future for everyone involved.

What Does Putting a Baby Up for Adoption Mean?

Placing a baby for adoption means lovingly planning for that baby’s future. Expectant/birth parents considering adoption are placing the needs of their child before their own wants, ensuring they are raised in a safe, stable, and loving home environment. Adoption requires relinquishing parental rights and allowing those parental rights to be transferred to the adoptive parent(s), who accept the responsibility of raising the child to adulthood.

Is Adoption Right for You?

Adoption is a highly personal decision. No one can make this decision for you. If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and are unprepared for parenthood, you may be considering adoption. This is a positive, loving decision.

The best way to determine whether adoption is right for you is to take your time considering your options. You will want to spend a lot of time thinking about this decision.

Common Reasons Birth Parents Choose Adoption

Birth parents choose adoption for a variety of reasons. Some of the most common reasons include:

• Financial strain
• Housing and/or lifestyle instability
• Time constraints
• Mental health challenges
• Personal and/or professional growth
• Lack of support

Some of these reasons may apply to your life, or you may have other reasons for considering adoption. Regardless, adoption is a choice you can make for yourself and your baby.

Questions to Ask Yourself When Considering Adoption

• What kind of life do I envision for my baby?
• What kind of parents do I want my child to have?
• Do I want to build a relationship with my baby’s adoptive family?

Interested in Learning More About Adoption?

Types of Adoption: Open, Semi-Open, and Closed

Adoption empowers birth parents with choice. After deciding to place your baby for adoption, you can consider the type of adoption plan you want. Here is a brief breakdown of the types of adoption plans from which you can choose:

Open Adoption

An open adoption includes direct, ongoing contact between birth and adoptive families. You, the expectant/birth parent, can choose the form and frequency of communication. You can choose to stay connected via text messages, phone calls, virtual calls, emails, or even in-person reunions. You can choose to connect once a month, several times a year, or just once a year, if that makes you most comfortable. The choices are all yours.

Semi-Open Adoption

The semi-open adoption plan falls between open and closed adoption. You may decide you want to choose your baby’s adoptive parent(s), but then keep communication with them strictly between the adoption agency. You can find a middle ground that works for you and meets your needs with the semi-open adoption plan.

Closed Adoption

A closed adoption means there is no identifying information or contact shared between birth and adoptive parents. This can be appealing to a birth parent looking for a sense of anonymity and privacy. A closed adoption may be opened later, should a birth parent reconsider.

How to Put Your Baby Up for Adoption

1. Contact and Choose an Adoption Agency

As you consider making an adoption plan for your child, you will want to contact a reputable adoption agency. Their experience and knowledge can help you from the very beginning of this journey. The right adoption agency will offer support services at no cost to you. In fact, they can also offer you financial assistance as it relates to your pregnancy and adoption. Adoptions With Love offers the following services to expectant/birth mothers who choose adoption:

• Housing assistance. We can cover a deposit and several months of rent, if needed.
• Financial support with utilities, phone bills, and maternity clothes, as needed.
• Complete counseling services before and after adoption.
• Medical care. We can help you find a doctor or midwife and cover all uninsured medical expenses when you complete the adoption.
• Legal assistance with experienced attorneys who are familiar with the adoption laws in your state.
• Assistance designing an adoption plan and matching with the best family.
• Ongoing contact through the years.

One of the many benefits of working with a private adoption agency like AWL is the ongoing, confidential, and compassionate support from our staff. Your experience and health are our top priorities, and we care for our expectant/birth parents with the utmost respect. We understand that adoption is an emotional journey, and we are here to help you every step of the way.

2. Choose Your Adoptive Parents

Once you have chosen your adoption agency, you will want to begin to consider your child’s future adoptive parents. You can browse through the profiles of families hoping to adopt a child. The idea of finding the right family can be intimidating, but they are out there. Your adoption agency can show you profiles of these families, which offer photos, letters, stories, and background information to help you decide.

You can, if you wish, speak with prospective adoptive parents before making your decision final. You can choose to speak with them over the phone, on a video call, or even meet face-to-face. Your adoption specialist can arrange a call or meeting. If you do not wish to speak with them ahead of time, that is okay, too.

Every hopeful adoptive family at Adoptions With Love has been approved to adopt. They have completed a Home Study, which involves thorough background checks, screenings, at-home visits, and interviews to ensure that every child is going to a safe, stable, and loving home. If you do not wish to speak with the adoptive family ahead of time, you can take comfort in the fact that they are responsible, loving people who will care for your child as their own.

3. Make an Adoption and Hospital Plan

The next step is to plan for the birth and adoption finalization. Put your wishes in writing. Your adoption agency can help you write out your hospital plan. This plan details what kind of birth and recovery experience you wish to have. Ask yourself the following questions:

• Who do I want in the delivery room with me?
• Who should hold the baby first?
• Do I want special time alone with the baby in my room?

Gathering your thoughts and wishes can help you get a clear picture of how you wish the hospital experience to go.

4. Complete the Legal Process and Finalization

Putting a baby up for adoption can be overwhelming, which is why many adoption agencies offer free services to expectant/birth parents. For example, uninsured medical costs are often covered. Legal services are also provided at no cost.

If you choose adoption for your baby, there are legal processes involved. Once you have given birth, you must sign consent forms to terminate your parental rights. Depending on your state, you may have to wait a certain number of hours or days before signing this paperwork. This will give you some time to get to know your baby and consider your decision one last time.

Adoptions With Love has adoption attorneys in every state, ready to help you through the legal process of adoption. No matter where in the U.S. you live, we can send an attorney to meet with you, wherever is convenient, to make sure you are making an informed decision and know your rights as a birth parent. This professional can answer any questions you may have to help you better understand what is happening.

5. Receive Post-Placement Support

Once the adoption is complete, you may begin the journey towards healing. This will take some time; birth parents report experiencing feelings of loss and grief after putting baby up for adoption. These are completely normal feelings and birthmothers report this gets much better over time. Your free counseling services continue for up to a year following the adoption, so you can turn to your adoption agency for ongoing support during that time. It may help to join a support group for birth mothers. Connecting with those who have a similar experience can help with coping, acceptance, and closure.

As you recover, you can also begin to consider the next chapter of your life. While birth mothers experience grief after adoption, they also move forward to experience great joy. Open adoption gives expectant/birth parents a sense of security, knowing their child is well cared for and that the adoption does not mean “goodbye forever.” In fact, it is only the beginning. Adopted children who are in open adoptions get to learn about their background, meet their birth parent(s), and – best of all – grow up knowing they are loved by two families instead of one.

Adoption Does Not Mean “Giving Up”

While we often hear the phrases “putting baby up for adoption” and also “giving baby up for adoption,” you should keep in mind that adoption is anything but giving up.

You are not giving up, as you are making a decision rooted in a deep love for your child. This is your choice. You are putting your own feelings aside and thinking about your baby’s future instead. This makes adoption a very brave, thoughtful, and selfless decision.

You should also keep in mind that, while you may be “putting baby up for adoption,” you are certainly not giving your child away. You are lovingly making an adoption plan that will provide your child with a life full of love and opportunity.

As the famous musician, Faith Hill, once said: “I know [my birth mother] must have had a lot of love for me to want to give me what she felt was a better chance.”

Your Rights as a Birth Parent

As a birth parent, you should know your rights. You have many rights, such as:

The right to choose adoption, and the right to change your mind. You can make the decision that feels best for you and your baby, and until you consent to the adoption, you can always change your mind.

You also have the right to counseling – free of charge. An adoption agency, such as Adoptions With Love, will offer free counseling services to expectant/birth mothers before and after the adoption is complete.

You also have the right to financial assistance. While you cannot be paid for your baby’s adoption, you can receive financial support as needed.

How Can Adoptions With Love Help?

If you would like to learn even more about placing your child for adoption, contact Adoptions With Love today. We can give you the information you need – without pressure or judgment – to help you make an informed decision. We can also help support your needs and guide you through the adoption journey. We are here for you.

Call us 24/7 at 617-964-4357, text us confidentially at 617-777-0072, or contact us online.