Adoptions With Love Blog

What to Do if You’re Pregnant and It Wasn’t Planned

Facing an unplanned pregnancy can be overwhelming. If you are pregnant and it was not planned, you may be unsure or confused as to what to do next. Who can you talk to? Where can you go for support? Should you tell your family or friends? What should you do for your baby? Whether you have a particular plan in mind, or feel completely lost, it is important to know that you are not alone. Even more, know that you have options – and you do not have to do anything right away.

Below, Adoptions With Love outlines what you can do (and what you should do) in regard to your pregnancy and your emotional health.

Prenatal Health is Key

Before making any decision regarding your pregnancy, it is important to remember to take care of yourself. As soon as you can, if you have not done so already, make an appointment with your doctor or head to a knowledgeable clinic like Planned Parenthood. A healthcare professional will be able to confirm the pregnancy and give you important information regarding your health – such as prenatal diet, vitamins, sleep, and exercise – during this time.

You should also take care of yourself mentally and emotionally. Turn to a trusted friend, family member, or counselor who can help you process the news and support you. This is an emotional time for expectant mothers, and it is important to be kind to yourself and limit stress wherever possible.

Explore Your Pregnancy Options

While many young women facing an unplanned pregnancy feel trapped or pressured into making a particular decision, it is important to remember that you have choices. As an expectant mother, this is your choice. Only you know what is best for you and your baby. Do not let anyone make you feel otherwise. Below are the common three options pregnant women explore:

  • Parenting
  • Termination
  • Adoption

It is important to take as much time as you can when considering (and learning about) your options. With termination, a decision must be made within a certain timeframe, depending on the laws of your state and the healthcare provider you choose to use for the procedure. When it comes to adoption, however, it is never too late to make a decision. In fact, all states require that mothers wait until after their baby is born before signing papers allowing the  adoption. If you would like to learn more about your options, you can download our free guide, “Guide to All Your Pregnancy & Adoption Options” here.

Whatever you feel is right in your heart, and whatever you feel is best for you and your baby, rest assured this is your choice. Your significant other, friends or family members should not force you into anything with which you are uncomfortable.

If you are considering adoption, it may give you some peace of mind to know that you have many options within this one path. Adoption looks different for everyone. There is no right or wrong way to make an adoption plan. This is important to keep in mind as you think about your and your baby’s best interests. Expectant/birth mothers have the power to make the following decisions when it comes to their child’s adoption:

At Adoptions With Love, all adoptive families today agree to at least a semi-open adoption, meaning adoptive parents share photographs and detailed letters with their birth mother on a regular basis. Most expectant/birth mothers choose an open or semi-open adoption, to have consistent peace of mind knowing their child is doing well. However, openness may not be right for you – and that is okay! If you choose adoption, Adoptions With Love can guide you through the process of making an adoption plan that makes you comfortable with your loving decision.

Finding Support

While it is easy to feel alone in this situation, it is important to remember that you certainly are not. In fact, nearly half of all pregnancies in the U.S. are not planned. Take advantage of this statistic. Find someone who has faced an unplanned pregnancy before, who can truly understand your circumstances. Someone who has been faced with the same exploration and the same decision can share their experience. In hearing how they came to their decision, you may find some light in making your own.

There are support groups of all kinds that can help you find the connection you need. Just speaking with other women who have faced unplanned pregnancies can be helpful. Upon making your decision, it can also be helpful to find support groups specific to your choice. There are groups for pregnant women preparing for parenthood, groups for women who are on – or have gone through – the adoption journey (many hosted by Adoptions With Love!), and those who are recovering from abortion.

There are also many counseling centers that can support you, or provide you with the support you need. Unplanned pregnancy is very emotional, and it takes great strength to make a choice. You deserve so much support and empathy during this time. You deserve someone who will listen to you fully, without judgment or pressure. A specialized pregnancy or adoption counselor is a great asset to you. Adoptions With Love is available 24/7, seven-days-a-week to talk about your options with you. Even if you are just looking to learn more about adoption or explore your options holistically, we are here to help.

Expectant mothers who are considering adoption will find that a compassionate, unbiased adoption agency is a good place to begin. At Adoptions With Love, an adoption professional will work closely with you, educating you on your options, listening to your wants and needs, and understanding your goals for the future. If you choose adoption (which you will not feel pressured into), we will help to guide you through the adoption process while making sure you are comfortable with each and every decision made. We work tirelessly to help expectant/birth mothers across the nation through pregnancy, birth, placement, and the many years that follow.

If you are pregnant and unsure what to do, know that we are here for you. Adoptions With Love can help answer all of your questions regarding your options, without any pressure or judgment. Contact us anytime, day or night, for confidential guidance. You may also call us toll-free at 1-800-722-7731.

For more information on your pregnancy options, please download our free eBook below.