Adoptions With Love Blog

Putting a Baby Up for Adoption: What All Mothers Should Know

Making an adoption plan for your child is just that: A plan for a secure and bright future.. This choice is one that is rooted in love and thoughtfulness. When an expectant/birth mother decides that “putting baby up for adoption” is the right choice for her and her baby, she is putting her child’s needs above her own. This is a brave and selfless decision.

Adoption gives expectant/birth mothers the power to take control of their situation. While you may not have planned this pregnancy, you have the opportunity to make a plan for the future and give your child a life that is better than the one you can provide at this time.

While adoption has come a long way, it remains widely misunderstood. If you are considering this option, and you are looking for some facts about “putting a baby up for adoption,” please continue reading. Here, we will break down the facts of how adoption works, and what you should know.

This is Your Choice

Before you make any decision regarding your pregnancy, you should know that adoption is always an option for you, no matter your circumstances. It is never too late to make an adoption plan. Whether you just found you are pregnant, are in your third trimester, or you have already giving birth, you can make the decision to place your child for adoption. This choice is one that only you can make. You should never feel pressured to make an adoption plan – or any choice regarding your pregnancy – if it is not something with which you are completely comfortable.

With the help of a reputable adoption agency, expectant/birth mothers can also select their child’s adoptive family. This often helps expectant/birth mothers find peace and comfort in their decision, knowing that their child will be raised in a safe, stable, and loving home.

A Supportive Adoption Agency is Important

The first place to start, when considering adoption, is a licensed adoption agency. Finding the right adoption professional is important. You want to find an agency that will give you personalized attention, listen to your needs and concerns, and guide you through the process every step of the way.

At Adoptions With Love, expectant/birth mothers receive comprehensive care and support throughout the adoption journey. We offer a wide range of free services, from counseling and legal assistance to medical care and financial aid. Some of these free services include:

  • Financial support which includes assistance with utilities, phone, maternity clothing, and other necessities, as needed.
  • Designing your adoption plan. We understand that each person has different needs. We offer you the opportunity to choose and meet the couple that will adopt your baby.
  • Housing assistance. We can pay a deposit and several months of rent.
  • Complete counseling services by compassionate and experienced professionals to assist you in planning for your future and that of your baby.
  • Medical care. If you do not already have a doctor, we will help you find a doctor who understands your emotional and physical needs. The full services of a hospital with a supportive staff will be there for you at the time of delivery. Adoptions With Love will cover any uninsured medical expenses when you complete the adoption.
  • Legal assistance provided by experienced lawyers who specialize in adoption. Making sure that the rights of all those involved in the adoption process are respected and upheld is our utmost priority.
  • Ongoing contact through pictures and letters from the adoptive family of your child over the years. These letters and pictures are always available to you if and when you want them. You are also welcome to send letters, pictures or gifts to the child and the adoptive family. There is also the ability to design an open adoption with ongoing direct communication and meetings. The choices are yours.

Support does not end with the final paperwork of adoption. As adoption plans evolve, your social worker can help navigate any changes with your child’s adoptive family, serving as a liaison between the two parties and ensuring everyone is comfortable with the arrangement. Counseling services are offered during pregnancy and long after the adoption is final. Adoption is a life-changing experience. We understand that it is a journey to process the emotions that come along with this path, and we are always here to lend an ear.

Open Adoption is a Positive Option

Making an adoption plan is a positive choice for many reasons. There are many benefits to all involved in the adoption triad – including birth mom and the adopted child. Today’s adoption plans have much more flexibility and tend to be more open than adoptions of years’ past.

What is open adoption? Open adoption means that there is ongoing communication between birth and adoptive parents before and after adoption. As an expectant/birth mother, you have the power to choose what that openness looks like for you. Do you wish to keep in touch via email? Would you like phone conversations? In-person meetings? You can also determine the frequency of these updates. If you would like an email update with photos once a year, that can be arranged. If you connect with your child’s adoptive parents before your baby’s birth, you may decide that you want to share a text message exchange or private photo album, or even get together each year. Your adoption agency can help you navigate this adoption plan and design a plan that meets your needs and wishes. If you wish to have a closed adoption – wherein you do not keep in contact with your child’s birth parents at all after birth – that is okay, too. Adoptions With Love respects the privacy and wishes of all expectant/birth mothers, and keeps photos and updates on file, in case a birth mother wishes more openness in the future.

Open adoption – and the choices it brings – brings peace of mind to many expectant/birth mothers. There is no right or wrong path, it is completely up to you. It also helps knowing that you are never truly saying “goodbye” forever. You will always have a way to reconnect with your child’s adoptive family when you are ready.

Adoption is Not “Giving Up” or “Putting Up”

The phrase “putting baby up for adoption” is dated language that is no longer used by the adoption community. Today, we say “placing for adoption” or “making an adoption plan” because adoption means making a plan for your child’s life. Another reason “putting baby up for adoption” or “giving up baby for adoption” is not used is because it simply is not true. Making a thoughtful adoption plan for your child is anything but giving up. Adoption allows you to give your child the chance to have a better life than you can provide at this time. You are ensuring that he/she/they are raised in a safe, loving, stable home that is full of opportunity and support.  You are making this brave choice and you are in control of your plan.

Choosing to place your child for adoption can also mean that you and your child will have a bright future ahead. You will have the chance to pursue your own goals while your child is raised by a wonderful family. All adoptive families at Adoptions With Love complete a home study, which is a months-long process involving background checks, at-home visits, and the sharing of important personal documents. This home study process ensures that every family adopting is physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially healthy.

If you would like to learn more about adoption plans and your options as an expectant/birth mother, contact Adoptions With Love today. We can help you navigate this journey every step of the way. Call us any time at 800-722-7731, text us confidentially at 617-777-0072, or contact us online.