You have just discovered you are pregnant and are unsure if you are ready to parent your child. It is okay if you are not. While parenting requires a lot of planning ahead, over 50 percent of pregnancies in the United States are unplanned. Fortunately, you have many choices as an expectant mother. You have time to make a conscious decision regarding your pregnancy. You have the ability to decide whether you are emotionally, financially, and physically ready to raise a child.
If you are considering parenting, understand that it is a lifelong commitment. It is true that parenthood comes with many joys, but it also demands a lot of hard work. Only you can decide if you are ready to begin this journey.
Being pregnant does not mean that parenthood has to be a part of your plan at this time. If you have other ambitions to pursue right now, adoption may be the most positive choice for you.
As you consider your unplanned pregnancy options, it is important to take time to reflect on yourself, your relationships, and your situation. Do some soul-searching. Talk with others about your feelings on parenthood. Consider the costs and the reality of becoming a parent. Ask yourself the following questions to find out if you are truly ready to parent at this time:
- Do you enjoy spending time with children? Do you enjoy teaching and guiding others?
- What are your views on parenting? What do you believe makes a great parent?
- Is having children a part of your plan? If so, why do you want to become a parent?
- Do you feel pressure to parent this baby? Do you feel your decision is being influenced by anyone else?
- Are you ready to put your child’s needs before your own?
- Do you currently have a stable job? If so, are you able to take time off of work to be with your baby?
- Are you financially prepared to raise a child (current estimates show it costs nearly $250,000 to raise a child to adulthood)?
- Do you have the finances to pay for prenatal costs, doctor appointments, and hospital bills?
- Do you live in a safe environment to raise a child? Can you raise your child in your current home, or will you have to move? Will you have to move in with family or friends?
- Will you have to rely on friends and family for help? Are you comfortable with this?
- How is your relationship with the baby’s father?
- How does the baby’s father feel about your pregnancy? Will you involve him in your decision?
- What type of support is the baby’s father willing to provide: financial, childcare, emotional?
- Can you attain your long-term goals, and still make a good life for you and your child? If so, how?
- How will having a child impact your life? What will change? Are you ready to make those changes?
Reflect on your answers as you move through each question. Consider your reflections. Are there questions that challenge you? Do you feel your answers are positive and confident? Adoptions With Love created this article to help guide you toward the right decision for you and your baby. You may also download our Reality Check-List to see just how prepared for parenthood you are at this time.
Try to picture yourself with a baby at this time. Write down your thoughts and feelings, then discuss them with a trusted friend, counselor, or adoption professional. Adoptions With Love is only one phone call away. If you would like a non-biased, confidential conversation regarding your options, contact us at 1-800-722-7731. Our compassionate team at Adoptions With Love can help you develop the best plan for you and your baby.