Facing an Unplanned Pregnancy: How to Tell Friends & Family

Discovering that you have an unplanned pregnancy can be very difficult. Sharing this news with others is often the most challenging step of all. Sometimes, it is hardest to talk with those who are closest to you. You may be unsure of how they will react and what they will think of you. You may feel that they will try to pressure you into making a certain decision, or that they will not agree with the choice you have already made regarding your pregnancy. You may also not want to involve anyone else until you have learned all of your options and thought through each one completely.

The first and most important thing you can do now is to take time for yourself to think. When coming face to face with an unplanned pregnancy, you will feel very strong emotions. Before telling your loved ones, give yourself time to come to terms with the fact that you are pregnant. Try to think of all of your options and what your next step will be. You do not have to make a final decision until the baby is born, but having a plan will bring you some peace of mind.   Having a well thought out plan will also reassure those you decide to tell. By having a solution ready, you can spin a person’s feelings of worry or confusion into something more positive. If you are considering adoption for your baby, be honest. Explain how much it would mean to have your loved one’s support through this process.

Of course, you do not have to share your pregnancy with everyone. Instead, decide who will be most supportive to you, emotionally, physically, and financially. Who will respect you and your decision in the long run? By confiding in those you trust most, you will enlist at least one other person who can support you. They will lend you confidence through this entire journey and can help you approach others who may be less supportive.

Just like you needed time, anyone else you tell will also need time to absorb this news. You cannot expect a certain reaction. Some will be excited, some will be disappointed, and some may initially be most concerned with how this will affect their lives. This is your life, and this is your decision. They may not know what is best for you and your child. They may think that parenting is the only option. If you choose adoption, explain to your friends and family that this is a loving decision that gives both you and your child the lives you deserve. Share with them your goals, as well as what opportunities you want your child to have. Try to educate your friends and family about the benefits of today’s adoptions. One of our adoption counselors can be with you and support you in doing so. We can answer any questions they may have and help them understand how this truly is a positive choice.

You may be asking, “Do I have to tell anyone at all?” It is okay if you do not want to tell your family or friends of your unplanned pregnancy, especially if you feel they will not lend support or will interfere with your final decision. However, we still encourage you to seek support from a trusted person, professional, or counselor. This is not a journey you need to face alone. Keeping your pregnancy to yourself can take a toll on your emotional health. You will need someone to lean on, to open up to about any thoughts and feelings. By keeping it private, your ability to physically take proper care of you and your baby’s health may also be affected. With open minds and open arms, we at Adoptions With Love would like to share our expert knowledge with you and support you through each phase of your pregnancy.

You can keep this entirely confidential, and we can help. A young woman recently came to Adoptions With Love with the same hope of keeping her pregnancy private. At the time, she was living at home with her parents, and no one knew she was pregnant. She was not ready to tell them yet. After learning more about adoption and deciding it was a positive choice, she came to us. We provided her with support and counseling.  We were available to her 24/7. She delivered a beautiful baby, placed him in a loving, adoptive family, and later came home to tell her family of her courageous journey.

We understand how intimidating it can be in telling others of your unplanned pregnancy.  Adoptions With Love wants to assure you that the only right decision now is the one that you will make. You ultimately know what is best for you and your baby’s future. You deserve unending love and support throughout this journey. If you are at all nervous about telling your family or friends about your pregnancy, or are having a difficult time emotionally, please call us toll-free at 1-800-722-7731 or text us confidentially at 1-617-777-0072.

For more information on how to deal with unplanned pregnancy, please download our free eBook, “The Guide to Unplanned Pregnancy.”


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