Each year, February 14th is recognized as Valentine’s Day. It is a day dedicated to love. In many parts of the world, people express their love for one another by exchanging cards, flowers, chocolates, and romantic dinners. In the United States, Valentine’s Day is not solely a day for romance. It is also celebrated among families. Parents often use this day to do something extra special for their children, to show how much they care.
In light of Valentine’s Day this year, we wanted to share information about the loving act of adoption. Love is at the heart of every adoption arrangement.
- Expectant/birth parents make a loving, yet difficult choice to place their child for adoption. They have so much love for their child, that they put the child’s needs first.
- Adoptive parents have so much love to give to a child. Their greatest desire is to become parents and to provide a child with a lifetime of love and stability.
- Adoptees, particularly those in open adoption arrangements, are loved by two families: their birth family and their adoptive family.
Adoption touches the lives of people throughout the world. While it is an emotional and complicated journey at times, adoption is rooted in selfless and unconditional love. Below, we will explain why love is such a big part of the adoption journey.
Adoption is One of the Most Loving Decisions a Mother Can Make for Her Baby.
Unplanned pregnancy is an emotional and overwhelming experience. Many expectant parents in this situation are unsure what to do or where to go for support. Some feel very alone.
Expectant/birth parents considering adoption typically are not ready to become parents at the time of their pregnancy. They may love their baby, but do not have the means or the ability to care for a child at this time in their lives. Adoption allows them to place their child with a family who can provide a safe home, a secure future, and endless amounts of love.
Expectant/birth parents who choose adoption put their child’s needs and best interests above their own. Although they did not plan to get pregnant, adoption allows them to make a plan for their baby’s life.
An adoption agency works with expectant/birth mothers to guide them through the adoption process, every step of the way. For example, at Adoptions With Love, we offer free education, confidential counseling, financial support, and legal services to women nationwide who choose to make an adoption plan.
It is important for everyone to know that adoption is not an easy decision. It comes with a lot of thought and consideration. It also comes from a place of love. Choosing adoption means putting the child’s needs first, because the parent wants what is best for the baby.
As one birth mother explained to AWL: “As birth mothers, we love our children more than I can possibly express.”
Rather than saying that she gave her baby up for adoption, she prefers to say that she “chose adoption”:
“I much prefer saying that I chose adoption, or that I placed my daughter with a family. I think that captures the feeling much better – that I chose her parents, that I was involved the whole way through, that it was a decision I made out of love, that I took my time to make the choice. Most of all, that I took the time to choose the right people – I didn’t just accept whoever came along first.”
“I wanted her to have a loving family, and I thought she deserved better than an unprepared single mother who wasn’t ready to be a parent. So I chose a stable, happy, healthy family for her.”
When people ask, “Do you love your baby?”, this birth mother responds:
“Yes. More than the earth. More than you can imagine. Imagine what it takes to go through pregnancy, go through childbirth, hold your beautiful baby in your arms and accept that you cannot provide the life you think your child deserves. It’s impossible. It’s an impossible choice and it hurts. It’s the hardest choice I’ve ever made in my entire life, no contest.
“But the love you have for your child outweighs everything. The love is more important than the doubts, the fears, the deliberation.”
“At the end of the day, you make the choice – whether to raise your child, or to place them with a family – out of love. You make that choice for your child, not for you, BECAUSE you love them so much.”
Adoption may not be the right choice for everyone. However, adoption is a wonderful choice for those who are not ready to parent, and who wish to continue their pregnancy.
If you are considering this option, then you are already coming from a place of love. You are putting your child’s needs before your own. You may not be able to care for this child right now. You may be facing financial and personal challenges at this time in your life. You want to give your child the best life possible, despite the pain it may cause you to let go. That is the definition of love. Making an adoption plan for your child means you are guaranteeing them a lifetime of opportunities with a family that can offer them safety, support, and stability. There may be no greater act of love.
Adoptive Families are Built on Love, Not DNA.
For adoptive parents, few experiences compare to that of parenting a child. Many hopeful couples want nothing more than to care for a child (or children), and make beautiful memories with them as they grow up. For some families, however, it is not possible to have children biologically. They choose adoption to grow their families and become parents.
An estimated 1 million Americans are waiting to adopt an infant at any given time.
Parenting a child is never easy, but it is one of the most rewarding experiences for many families. According to a National Parent Survey, 73 percent say parenting is their biggest challenge. Despite the challenge, 91 percent say parenting is their greatest job. Additionally, 70 percent say they feel their life started when they became a parent.
Adoptive parents often say that adopting their child was the greatest gift of all. They are especially grateful for the birth parents, who chose to make an adoption plan. As stated beautifully by one of the adoptive parents at AWL:
“It’s been nearly 4 1/2 years since I first laid eyes on my daughter, and yet, to this day, not a day goes by when I’m not overwhelmed with gratitude that the world aligned itself to bring her into my life and family.”
Most adoptions today are open adoptions. This type of adoption can look different for everyone. Typically, it means there is communication between the birth and adoptive parents.
Open adoption can bring peace of mind to everyone involved. Birth mothers can stay in touch and feel an ongoing connection with their children. Adoptive parents can ask the birth parent(s) questions about their child’s history and family background. Most of all, children who were adopted can grow up being loved by two families and knowing where they came from. They get to know what their birth parent(s) look like, and even why they were placed for adoption. Both families can form a lasting bond.
One family that has an open adoption arrangement through AWL spent time with their new daughter and her birth mother’s family, shortly after delivery. They said:
“We feel very lucky to have had this time with them because now we can let our daughter know all about her birth family and what they are like. We have pictures of all of us together having fun and that will be so important for [our daughter] to see. We have such admiration and respect for [her birth mother]. She made a very difficult and courageous decision. Our daughter will grow up knowing how much her birth mother loves her and that she wants the best for her.”
Happy Valentine’s Day to You
As you can see, adoption is a choice made with love. This Valentine’s Day, we hope you spread awareness about the loving act of adoption. Or, share your loving story with us!
If you are considering placing your baby for adoption, you can rest assured that your decision comes from a place of love. Your child, in turn, will be loved deeply. An adopted child is celebrated and loved by two families instead of one.
Check out these quotes about love and adoption, here, for more Valentine’s Day inspiration.
If you would like to learn more about adoption, contact Adoptions With Love. We can help you grow your family through adoption or lovingly make an adoption plan for your child. Call us 24/7 at 800-722-7731, text us confidentially at 617-777-0072, or contact us online.