If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy, you may be considering adoption. Adoption is not an easy decision, but it is one that comes from a place of love and selflessness. Making an adoption plan is a brave choice that puts your child’s best interests first.
As you research your options and learn more about adoption, you may be seeing the phrase “making an adoption plan” quite a bit. However, you may not know what this phrase means. What is an adoption plan, exactly? Keep reading to find out.
What is an Adoption Plan?
An adoption plan is a plan created by an expectant/birth mother as she places her baby for adoption. Specifically, an adoption plan outlines what the biological mother wants for her baby, including the type of adoption she is comfortable with, and the family in which her baby will be placed. Making an adoption plan simply means making arrangements for the baby’s life ahead.
“Making an Adoption Plan” vs. “Give Up for Adoption”
Before understanding the details of “making an adoption plan” for your child, it is important to understand what it does not mean. Contrary to the outdated and popular term, you are not “giving baby up for adoption.” Rather, choosing adoption means giving your baby a wonderful life. It means putting his or her needs above your own and choosing a family that can love and attend to all your baby’s needs, if you are not ready or able to at this time. You are planning for your child’s life and that is brave and commendable.
If you think about adoption in this light, you will see that “giving your baby up for adoption” is anything but giving up. It takes a special and strong person to place her child with another family, a family that can provide a life full of love and opportunity.
We would never sugar coat it: Adoption is one of the hardest choices an expectant/birth mother will make for her baby. It can also be one of the most positive choices for the child. Children who are adopted are very likely to be in good health, live in a safe neighborhood, get involved with school, have close relationships with their family, and grow up with two parents. You can read more about the benefits of adoption here.
Making an Adoption Plan
Instead of using these terms “give up” or “put up for adoption,” we say, “making an adoption plan.” This is a much more appropriate term because it describes what you are doing. By choosing adoption, you are making a thoughtful plan for your child’s life ahead. You may not have planned this pregnancy, but you are taking responsibility to ensure your baby has a life filled with safety, stability, love, and plenty of opportunity. This is the exact opposite of giving up. You are planning for your child’s future, in the most selfless way possible.
For many expectant/birth mothers, making an adoption plan brings about feelings of sadness, loss, and grief – even when they know they have made the right decision. Accepting the fact that, at this moment in your life, you are not ready to raise a child can still be painful. Knowing that your baby will have a happy and loving forever family, however, can help ease that pain and bring you a sense of peace.
The Different Types of Adoption Plans
As noted above, making an adoption plan means that expectant/birth parents are in control. After all, only you know what is best for your baby. As an expectant/birth mother, you may choose to hand-pick your child’s adoptive parents. Adoptions With Love shares the profiles of hopeful adoptive families – including letters, photos, family background and information – with expectant/birth mothers. If you wish, you may speak with the family before making your decision, and you may even choose to meet with them in person. This, again, is your choice.
A caring adoption agency like Adoptions With Love will listen to your wishes and desires, find families that best match your vision of ideal parents, and be with you every step of the way. Your social worker can help you read through the adoptive parent profiles, answering any questions you may have.
You can also choose between an open, semi-open, and closed adoption. Most adoptions today are open, meaning there is ongoing communication between the adoptive family and birth mother. With a semi-open adoption, the expectant/birth mother may decide to meet her child’s adoptive family, but then keep very limited – or no – communication post adoption. A closed adoption means that there is never any communication or personal information shared by the birth mother.
At Adoptions With Love, all prospective adoptive families agree to having at least a semi-open adoption. Most birth mothers today choose some type of open adoption, since it offers many benefits for all involved: The birth mother, the adoptive parent(s), and the adoptee. Of course, just because this is the most common plan chosen for birth mothers, does not mean that it will work for you.
Some expectant/birth mothers want a closed adoption for a sense of closure, and what they consider a fresh start. No matter what you decide, your adoption agency will support you. At Adoptions With Love, adoptive families continue to send photos and letters that are kept in a file, in case a birth mother changes her mind and decides to open the adoption later.
Make an Adoption Plan That’s Best for You
If you are facing an unexpected pregnancy and considering adoption, it is important to do your research on your many choices. This will help you make an informed, intelligent, and loving decision for yourself and your child. No one can tell you which type of adoption plan to make, just as no one can push you into (or out of) the decision to make an adoption plan. This is your pregnancy, your child’s future, and your life. Only you know what is best for you.
If you would like to learn even more about making an adoption plan, contact Adoptions With Love today. We can help guide you through this process without any judgement or pressure. Reach out to us any time of day, any day of the week, at 800-722-7731, text us confidentially at 617-777-0072, or reach out to us online.