Adoptions With Love Blog

Questions to Ask when Choosing an Adoptive Family

If you are an expectant mother and have decided to courageously make an adoption plan, you likely carry an image of the ideal home and family for your baby.

There are numerous questions to ask yourself to help you form this vision. What does that family look like? Will your child have siblings or pets, two parents or one? Where does the family live? Will your child to college? Is a certain religion important to you? Do you want a stay at home parent? Do you, the expectant mother, have an ongoing relationship with the family?

Making an open adoption plan for your baby will allow you the opportunity to give your child all of the things that you wish for him or her.  Today, you can choose the adoptive parents for your child. At Adoptions With Love, we can help you determine exactly what you are looking for in a family. Our adoption professionals can help you to find the family that is the best fit for you and your baby. If you would like, you can meet the adoptive family in person. For many expectant parents, meeting a prospective family completes their mental picture of their child and his or her future. It gives them reassurance and comfort to see, hear, and understand exactly what these prospective parents have to offer. It helps to form trusting relationship.

Each of the waiting families at Adoptions With Love has created an “Adoptive Parent Profile” so that you can get to know who they are and why they have chosen to build their family through adoption. They include letters and pictures for expectant parents like you to read and review. You can see how they live, what they look like, what their hobbies and interests are. While these adoptive profiles are very extensive, phone calls or face-to-face meetings can be even more helpful. Hearing what adoptive parents have to say when asked specific questions, and seeing how they react to these questions, can often be the most telling of all. By meeting a prospective family, you can put a voice to what you have seen in their profile books. You can establish a relationship built on understanding and trust. You can connect with one another, and truly feel secure in your decision.

Adoptions With Love can help you prepare for this decision and the meeting process. You can meet an adoptive family in person, or, if you feel more comfortable, through a phone conversation or internet skype session. It is normal to feel nervous about this next step. Finding the perfect adoptive family for your baby is a very important decision because you also want to make sure they are the right fit for you. To ensure that a family shares the same desires as you for your baby’s future, you want to make sure you ask all of the questions you are interested in knowing:

  • Why did you choose adoption as a way to grow your family?
  • What kind of adoption plan do you desire—open, closed, or something in between?
  • What kind of contact we will have following the placement of this child? (Through letters, pictures, emails, visits, phone calls, etc.?)
  • Do you have other children, or plan to have any more?
  • How long have you been married? (Or, why have you chosen single parenting?)
  • What makes your marriage work?
  • What are your daily schedules like? Will there be a stay at home parent?
  • Why do you feel as though you would make good parents?
  • What are your parenting philosophies? How will you discipline this child?
  • What are you goals for the future, and for the future of my baby?
  • Do you have a college savings plan enacted for him or her?
  • Are you involved with your community? How so?
  • How do you celebrate the holidays?
  • Do you have a large extended family? Are they supportive of this adoption?
  • How will you explain the adoption to this child?
  • How will you refer to me, the birth mother, when speaking to him or her?

As an expectant mother choosing an adoption, you are putting your child’s needs first which is a very brave, unselfish act. Yet you are also giving your child the gift of life, happiness, and support. By using your head, your heart, and asking all of the right questions, you will lovingly choose an adoptive family that will endlessly care, nurture, and provide for your child. Adoptions With Love is working with many waiting families looking to parent. One may be the right one for you. Contact us or call us today to get started at 1-800-722-7731 or text us confidentially at 1-617-777-0072.

For more information on choosing a family for your baby, download our free eBook below!

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