What to Expect Postpartum After Adoption

Adoption is a beautiful, rewarding experience. Choosing adoption for your child is an incredibly loving and selfless act. Many birth mothers experience the joy of adoption as they help another family fulfill their dream of becoming parents, all while knowing their child is safe and well-loved. Just as there are highs, there are lows, as well. Birth mothers experience a wide range of emotions, including grief and depression. If you are curious to learn what postpartum after adoption may look like, you have come to the right place.

Before diving into postpartum depression, it is important to note that the term “postpartum” on its own should not automatically be associated with depression. Postpartum simply refers to the time following birth. It is typically the four-to-eight-week window after a mother has delivered her child. Postpartum after adoption can come with its own set of challenges and emotions. Read on, as we detail what can come with postpartum after adoption, and why adoption and depression are sometimes experienced together.

Postpartum Depression

As the name implies, postpartum depression is depression experienced after giving birth. According to the CDC, it is not an uncommon experience. In fact, the CDC’s research finds that one in eight mothers report having symptoms of postpartum depression.

Postpartum depression is a more intense experience and lasts longer than the typical “baby blues.” Baby blues describes the average anxiety, sadness, and fatigue that many mothers experience shortly after birth. The baby blues only last for a few days or – at most – up to two weeks following birth.

According to the Mayo Clinic, some of the most common symptoms of postpartum depression include:

• Appetite problems
• Depressed mood or mood swings
• Difficulty sleeping
• Excessive bouts of crying
• Feelings of hopelessness
• Inability to focus
• Intense irritability and/or anger
• Restlessness
• Severe anxiety and panic attacks
• Thoughts of death or suicide
• Withdrawal from friends and family

You may be familiar with the term postpartum depression, but do you know that post-adoption is a common experience, as well? It is common for birth mothers to experience a sense of loss and grief, as adoption is an emotional moment. Many birth mothers who have lovingly placed their children for adoption have undergone the heartbreak that can come with this path. Adoption is not an easy decision, but it is sometimes the right one for both birth mother and child. Even if you are confident that you are making the right choice, you may still experience postpartum depression.

Tips for Navigating Postpartum After Adoption

There is no question that postpartum depression can be harmful to your health and wellbeing. It is best to address this mental health concern as soon as possible. While adoption can be emotional, and it is common to experience feelings of grief and sadness, it is crucial that you determine the difference between typical grieving and postpartum depression. Here are some steps to take when you suspect you may be experiencing post-adoption depression:

• Speak with your adoption counselor. At Adoptions With Love, expectant/birth mothers have access to counseling services, free of charge, before and after the adoption is complete. We strongly recommend continuing your counseling services in the period of postpartum after adoption. Adoptions With Love covers the costs of counseling services up to a year following adoption.
• Consult your doctor or midwife. If you believe you are experiencing postpartum depression, it is important to seek treatment from your doctor or midwife. This healthcare professional can screen you for an official postpartum depression diagnosis and prescribe medication, if needed. Remember that adoption is completely free for birth mothers, and financial assistance offered at adoption agencies will cover medical costs related to pregnancy and birth.
• Find your tribe. You may be familiar with the old African proverb: “It takes a village to raise a child.” The same rings true for birth mothers who have placed their child for adoption. While you may not be raising your child yourself, you have experienced a monumental life change by giving birth, and you need a strong support You should never have to experience adoption alone. Find online chat forums or Facebook groups for birth mothers. You can find others who have also placed their child for adoption and can understand what you are experiencing.
• Start and maintain healthy habits. There are some non-medication treatments for coping with postpartum depression, and they all involve your health. Try to incorporate healthy foods into your diet and get exercise when you can (once you are cleared to exercise by your doctor or midwife.) Try to get plenty of sleep and drink plenty of water, too. Find a calm activity you enjoy, such as reading, journaling, meditating, or praying (depending on your religious views.) Spending time with good friends can also benefit your mental health.
• Stay connected with your child’s adoptive family – if you have an open adoption. An open adoption can help serve as a reminder that you made the right decision. It can also give you peace of mind, knowing your child is safe, well cared for, and loved. If you have a close relationship with your child’s adoptive family, let them know you are struggling and could use some support. Maintaining a strong bond can bring you comfort. Frequent updates on your child’s growth and progress can also help ease symptoms of postpartum depression.

If you are experiencing thoughts of death or suicide, it is important to contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988. This number may be used 24/7. You can also contact Adoptions With Love at any time of day for post-adoption depression support – 800-722-7731.

Adoptive Parents and Birth Fathers

It may not be as commonly discussed, but adoptive parents and birth fathers can experience postpartum depression after adoption. This would also be classified as post-adoption depression.

For adoptive parents, the complex emotions that come following adoption are completely normal. These may include feelings of sadness or anxiety after bringing your baby home.

Similarly, birth fathers who are aware of the adoption or were involved in the adoption process may also experience a state of depression after adoption.

If you are an adoptive parent or birth father and you feel that you are experiencing symptoms of depression, contact Adoptions With Love at any time for support.

Reach Out for Support Any Time

Postpartum depression after adoption is quite common. You should never ignore symptoms, and you should never struggle with your depression alone.

Whether you are a birth or adoptive parent experiencing post-adoption depression, contact Adoptions With Love today. We can help guide you and offer you support during this challenging time. Call 800-722-7731 so that you can get the assistance you need.