Adoptions With Love Blog

Is Closed Adoption Right for You?

Making an adoption plan is a significant act of love. It is something that takes much care and consideration, and is not an easy decision to make. However, adoption is one of the greatest choices you can make for your child, to give him or her the best possible life. You may not have planned this pregnancy, but you do have the power to make a thoughtful and loving plan for your child’s future. You also have the power to customize your adoption plan, depending on your hopes and needs.

When an expectant/birth mother decides to place her child for adoption, she does not simply choose an adoption agency and relinquish her rights as a parent. As an expectant/birth mother, you also have the option to choose who will adopt your baby, and if (or how much) you will keep in touch with that family down the road. This is where an open, semi-open, or closed adoption plan comes into play.

Most adoptions today are open. This means that the birth mother maintains a relationship with her child and/or her child’s adoptive family. Just as no two people are exactly alike, no two adoptions are alike, either. Some birth mothers may keep in contact with their child’s adoptive family via email, while others may choose to connect over the phone or in-person. Some families may talk a few times throughout the year, while others may choose to chat on holidays and birthdays only. All of these instances fall under the “open adoption” bucket. There is no right or wrong way to make an open adoption plan. They are fully customizable and may evolve over the years to support the changing needs of a child.

For many birth parents, open adoption is a positive choice—but it may not be the best fit for everyone. Remember: There is no “one size fits all” adoption plan. You may not be ready for a relationship with your child or his/her family.

You may wish to remain anonymous throughout the process. Perhaps you are looking for a fresh start, and wish to close off contact with the adoptive family once the adoption is complete. If this describes your feelings now, then you may wish to pursue a closed adoption.

Closed adoption is not a very common type of adoption plan today, but it is the right choice for some birth mothers who wish for more privacy. About 5 percent of all adoptions today are closed. Years ago, the majority of adoptions were closed. Today, most expectant/birth parents want to keep in contact – in some way – with their child once the adoption is finalized. They often feel that this connection gives them more peace of mind, knowing their child is doing well. If you feel like you would like some type of contact, but perhaps not directly with the adoptive family, you may consider a semi-open adoption plan. In a semi-open adoption plan, you may receive letters and photos of your child through your adoption agency. If you wish to speak with the adoptive family in a semi-open arrangement, your adoption agency can even act as a liaison throughout the years.

With a closed adoption, you can still choose the parents for your child. You can browse through profiles of prospective adoptive families and decide which family you want to raise your baby. You do not have to meet the parents if you do not wish to, although you do have that option. At Adoptions With Love, you will still get the following benefits with a closed adoption:

  • Your privacy will always protected.
  • Letters and photos will still be placed in your file just in case you decide someday that you do wish to see them.
  • The option of knowing more information about the parents who have adopted your baby will be available to you in the future should you want this information.

As you consider making an adoption plan for your child, know that you are not alone. Nearly half of all pregnancies in the U.S. are unplanned, and about one-third of these women consider or want to learn more about adoption. Every year, about 14,000 women choose to place their babies for adoption. These numbers may not make your decision any easier, but at least you know you are not going through this on your own. Because there are so many expectant/birth mothers struggling with the same decision, there are many resources out there for support and guidance.

Closed adoption can be the perfect path for you. You may consider reaching out to a supportive adoption agency for guidance on this choice. Adoptions With Love offers support – emotional, medical, and financial – for expectant/birth mothers everywhere throughout the country. We will guide you through the adoption journey, every step of the way. If you decide that closed adoption is the right choice for you, then we will have your back. We will never pressure you on any decision you make. We want you to be comfortable with this important choice. No matter what type of adoption you choose, we will support you throughout it all. Adoptions With Love offers free counseling services during and after pregnancy, so you will never feel alone or unheard as you navigate these uncharted waters.

If you would like to learn even more about closed adoption, or adoption in general, reach out to Adoptions With Love any time of day, any day of the week. We are here for you. Call us today at 1-800-722-7731, text us confidentially at 617-777-0072, or email us at info@awlonline.org.

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