The decision to place your baby for adoption is not a simple one. As any birth mother who has been through this journey can tell you, it is something that must be carefully thought out. For some women, the choice comes as an answer to much prayer, discussion, and meditation long before birth. For others, it takes a little more time to accept and finalize the decision. This might mean that the final decision is made in the hospital, right before or after birth. Sometimes, the decision can take even longer.
If you are an expectant/birth mother and considering adoption, it is important to know that you have options. While you may feel that you are facing a big deadline at the nine-month mark, you are not. Birth mothers have the luxury of time.
Whether you are in your third trimester, or have already given birth, it is important to know that it is not too late to make an adoption plan. You can place your baby for adoption after birth. In fact, it is required in every state that birth mothers wait until after birth before signing any adoption papers. This gives the birth mother time to rest, meet her baby (if she chooses), and to think about her decision before terminating her parental rights. No decisions made before the birth of her baby are binding in any way.
Adoption laws vary by state. Some states allow a birth mother to sign surrender forms for adoption immediately following the baby’s birth, while other states require a certain number of hours or days to pass before she can sign anything official. In Massachusetts, for example, a birth mother must wait at least four days to sign a consent to the adoption.
As an expectant/birth mother, it is also important to remember that choosing adoption does not mean you are “giving up” your child. Actually, adoption is a very selfless and loving decision that you are making in your child’s best interest. More than likely, you want to provide your child with the best life possible. Adoption gives you that opportunity. As you consider placing your child for adoption, keep in mind that your child will likely be very happy in life. In fact:
- 90 percent of children in open adoptions are happy with their adoptive status.
- Most adopted children are read to and sung to on a daily basis.
- Adoption is not goodbye forever, through open adoption.
Thanks to open adoption, birth mothers can stay connected with their child’s adoptive family through ongoing contact. Every open adoption plan is unique. You may choose to receive letter or email updates with photos of your child, or you may decide to keep up with the family via phone calls and texts. Open adoption also means that your child will grow up knowing about you and his or her adoption story. Your child will understand that you made the brave decision to carry to term and provide him/her with such a wonderful life.
How to Place Your Baby for Adoption After Birth
If you are considering adoption, but not totally sure about the process after birth, reach out to a reputable adoption agency. A trustworthy, experienced agency like Adoptions With Love works in all states and will help guide you through the journey. We can help you during your pregnancy, or even from your hospital bed. In the hospital, you still have the same rights as any other birth mother considering adoption. For example, you can:
- Select your child’s adoptive family from the hospital bed
- Speak with the adoptive parents on the phone while they are driving to meet you and baby
- Meet the parents in-person, if you would like
- Arrange an open, semi-open, or closed adoption plan (this is your choice!)
- Rest assured that your child will go to a safe and loving home, since all adoptive families at AWL go through an extremely thorough background check and home study process
No matter where you are, Adoptions With Love will send you profiles of prospective adoptive families, so you may browse through them as you rest post-birth. You can also look at our waiting families online. Counselors can also discuss your options and address any questions or concerns you may have.
Of course, if you need more time to make your decision, you do not need to feel pressured to make the final decision from the hospital bed. As you recover from birth, you may want to take some more time to spend time with your baby and think about your future. We encourage you to take the time that you need, to ensure you are 100% comfortable and confident in your decision. Remember, we will respect any choice that you make.
If you are considering placing your baby for adoption after birth, feel free to reach out to Adoptions With Love for guidance, support, and information. We are here for you, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, no matter your circumstances. Without judgment or pressure, we can assist you from any point of your pregnancy or postpartum life. Contact us confidentially at 1-800-722-7731 or email us today.