Adoptions With Love Blog

Questions LGBTQ+ Adoptive Parents Should Ask Before Adopting

If you are getting ready to adopt a baby, you likely have a lot of questions about the process. If you are a part of the LGBTQ+ community, you probably have a few more specific questions for your agency. As you set out to grow your family, it is important to find a non-biased, supportive adoption agency that can answer your questions along the way.

Adoptions With Love is not just an LGBTQ-friendly adoption agency, but an agency that is fully competent, experienced and ready to help you along this journey. Our caring staff is committed to guiding prospective parents through the adoption process with ease, respect, and total transparency. We have been working with families of all make-ups for 35 years.

Before you interview prospective adoption agencies, it can help to prepare a list of questions. These may be about the agencies’ values and mission, or about the adoption process. To get you started, we put together a list of questions that LGBTQ+ families commonly ask the team at Adoptions With Love.

Questions for the Adoption Agency

Before you start the adoption process, it is important to get to know your potential adoption agency. Learn about their adoption wait times, costs, philosophies, and any other topics you feel are relevant. Here are some sample questions you may have:

  • How many expectant/birth mothers are you working with currently?

You can get an idea of how long the adoption process will take by getting a gauge of how many expectant/birth mothers are working with your adoption agency. Adoptions With Love works with expectant/birth mothers from all over the country, allowing for more matching options and shorter wait times for our prospective families.

  • What is your screening process for expectant/birth mothers?

Your adoption professional can give you a sense of how expectant/birth parents are treated at this agency, and how their needs are met throughout the process. Understanding how expectant/birth mothers are treated will help you see how the overall adoption services are handled. It can also bring you peace of mind knowing that your adoption agency has ensured the mother is comfortable and confident in her choice.

  • What is the screening process for adoptive parents?

This, of course, will help prepare you for the adoption journey ahead. You may already know about the home study process, which is required by state law to ensure children are placed in safe, stable, and loving homes. Your adoption professional can prepare you for the many documents and at-home visits that are to come in this process.

Questions about the Adoption Process

  • What should we know before we begin?

Adoption is a life-changing commitment. It is important to prepare yourself for the long road ahead. Adopting a child can take up to two years. At Adoptions With Love, adoptions typically take between 6 and 18 months.

In addition to the journey toward adoption, you will need to consider how your life will change after bringing baby home. Raising a baby will change everything about your life – from your social life to your finances. You should also consider the type of relationship you would like to maintain with your child’s birth parents , and determine whether you are comfortable with an open adoption arrangement. This is a common choice made by expectant/birth parents today.

  • Will it take longer for us to adopt than heterosexual/cisgender couples?

LGBTQ adoption has come a long way. Years ago, same-sex couples or transgender individuals did not have the same parenting rights as heterosexual families. The Supreme Court’s historic ruling on marriage equality in 2015 made all capable and competent adults eligible to adopt. There are, unfortunately, some adoption agencies that are less accepting. Since the Marriage Equality Act was passed, some states have passed their own legislation allowing private adoption agencies to discriminate based on sexual orientation and identity.

If you are adopting in Massachusetts, you have every right to adopt a child. Adoptions With Love fully supports our LGBTQ+ community and respects their dreams to grow their families. Many gay and lesbian families assume the wait time will be longer for them than hetero couples. This is simply not true. The wait will depend on the timing of your home study process, your willingness to have an open adoption and the child you hope to adopt. . With a supportive adoption agency working in your best interests, your wait to adopt a baby should not be any longer than that of a heterosexual or cisgender family.

  • What can we do to be matched with an expectant/birth mother?

Your adoption agency can help you with this one. As a full-service adoption agency, Adoptions With Love provides comprehensive advertising services and expertly matches birth parents with loving, healthy adoptive families. Your adoption professional guide you as you create an adoptive parent profile and video to share with expectant/birth parents. While this can be a bit intimidating, it is important to be yourself. Expectant/birth mothers like to see the personality of the hopeful adoptive family come through the pages. Share your life with these potential matches, as they may share life’s greatest gift with you.

Questions for Beyond the Adoption

  • Will my child/children be teased for having same-sex or transgender parents?

Children experience teasing for a wide range of reasons. Any child may be teased based on appearance, personal interests, social status, or – quite possibly – having gay or transgender parents. As a member of the LGBTQ+ community, you have likely faced your (un)fair share of this mistreatment. It can happen, and it is a sad reality of the world in which we live. The positive here is that you can help your child prepare for bullying, and you can help him/her/them come out of it more resilient than ever before.

  • How should I talk to my child(ren) about adoption?

It is important to talk about their adoption early and frequently. Just as sharing those “I love you” messages is important, being open, honest, and positive about adoption is a crucial part of nurturing your child. This is an ongoing conversation that can happen as early as the infant stage. While enjoying bath time or bedtime snuggles, you may work the word “adoption” into the happy baby babble. As your child ages, he/she/them will have more questions, and, while these discussions will grow more complex, if you keep it honest and age-appropriate, your bond will only strengthen within your family.

There are many resources available for adoptive parents who are looking to start the adoption conversation. If you ever need additional guidance, your adoption professional should be able to point you in the right direction.

These are just a few of the questions you may ask your adoption agency before jumping into this exciting, new chapter of your life. Your adoption agency can ease your mind about any concerns you may have about adoption. Just jot down your most pressing questions and they will be happy to go over them with you. If you would like to discuss adoption and start the process of growing your family in Massachusetts, reach out to Adoptions With Love.

Or, to learn more about the LGTBQ adoption process, please download our eBook below.

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