Birthmother Stories

My Letter to Those Angels Who Chose Life

“The choice that I made to give my son up for adoption was not an easy one. I can honestly say that it will probably be the hardest decision you will ever have to make – for me it was.

Many nights I cried to God asking him “What should I do?” So many emotions ran through me; the strongest emotion at the time was anger. Anger at the father for leaving me alone to make this decision. Anger at myself for ever having to make this decision. Anger at God for ever allowing me to make this decision. Slowly, those feelings have begun to fade away, and a much stronger emotion takes the place of the anger, and that is love.

Love is such a powerful emotion. I wanted to be selfish and keep my son because I love him more than anything imaginable, but in my heart I knew that I could not provide him with the life that he deserved. Two wonderful people through AWL came into my life and my son’s. They will provide him with so much love. He’ll be able to attend college, get a great job, and someday marry the girl of his dreams. I know that I will have a major part in his life, although I was only with him for a few precious hours. You see, just as you, I chose to give him LIFE, and along with that came unconditional love. I loved him so much that is why I made the decision to allow someone so precious, someone so beautiful, and someone so innocent to have a chance at a wonderful life.

Many people will try to judge you, but no one knows the burdens your heart bears. No one has that right, except God. And although you may not have a lot of faith in Him now, you will come to see that our God is a very understanding God. “God loved us so much that he gave his only Son.”

You may feel as if you’re alone, but please keep in mind that you are wonderful and loved and special. Just know that several months ago, someone was in the very same place that you may be in right now. Eventually, the hurt does ease, and the anger does fade; but love – true love – the love of a child, will remain in your heart forever. No matter the distance, the days, the weeks, the years that separate the two of you. Love is an emotion that will never fade. It only becomes deeper and stronger. It is forever for it is ever lasting.”