Dealing with an Unplanned Pregnancy: Why We Chose Adoption
I have always been very aware and supportive of adoption, myself being adopted and raised with an adopted sibling. Therefore, when I found myself facing an unplanned pregnancy during my final semester of college, adoption seemed the natural choice. Though I had only been dating my boyfriend, Adam, for five months, he was incredibly supportive and understanding of the situation. Both of us were, however, extremely nervous about the reactions of our parents. To delay this confrontation, we decided to keep the unplanned pregnancy a secret from all of our friends and family until my graduation, when I was five months along.
Before I could muster the courage to tell my parents, my mother confronted me and asked if I was pregnant. I hesitantly responded with a “yes,” and couldn’t believe how positively she responded. When I explained that I was considering adoption my parents were delighted, and my mother recounted how incredibly happy my adoption had made them. She said that giving a child to an adoptive family was the greatest gift, and that both of my parents would stand by me through the pregnancy. This was a huge relief to both Adam and me, and it started to seem like everything was going to be okay.
A week later Adam and I visited his parents and told them that I was pregnant. Although we had prepared for the worst, we were again surprised by the compassion and understanding they showed us, as they too voiced that they would support whatever decision we made. My older sister and Adam’s younger sister were equally shocked by the news, but were just as supportive as our parents had been about our choice to pursue adoption.
We then began our search for an open adoption agency, and received a recommendation from a family member for Adoptions With Love. Adam and I knew right away that this was the right agency for us, and were greatly comforted by their accepting and sympathetic mission to help us make the best choice. Before long we were looking at prospective families, and after a few weeks had chosen a couple that we wished to meet. Adam and I agreed early on that we wanted an open adoption, and felt confident in our decision with the love and support from our families and Adoptions With Love. Our first meeting with the adoptive family was easier and more comfortable than I ever could have imagined, and yet another affirmation that we had made the right choice.
Adam and I continued our conversation with the adoptive family through email, and even helped choose our child’s name. Through getting to know our adoptive couple, we truly felt that they were exactly the people we would want to raise our child. Even on the day of Matt’s birth, we knew that he was their child as much as he was our own.
Although the process of giving our child up for adoption was not without affliction, it was an overwhelmingly affirmative experience. With the full support of our families, the consolation of each other, and the reassurance of Adoptions With Love, Adam and I were able to give the best life to our child. We could not have done this alone, and give our unending thanks to all those who encouraged and helped us along the way.