Archive for August, 2015

Questions to Ask when Choosing an Adoptive Family

If you are an expectant mother and have decided to courageously make an adoption plan, you likely carry an image of the ideal home and family for your baby.

There are numerous questions to ask yourself to help you form this vision. What does that family look like? Will your child have siblings or pets, two parents or one? Where does the family live? Will your child to college? Is a certain religion important to you? Do you want a stay at home parent? Do you, the expectant mother, have an ongoing relationship with the family?

Making an open adoption plan for your baby will allow you the opportunity to give your child all of the things that you wish for him or her.  Today, you can choose the adoptive parents for your child. At Adoptions With Love, we can help you determine exactly what you are looking for in a family. Our adoption professionals can help you to find the family that is the best fit for you and your baby. If you would like, you can meet the adoptive family in person. For many expectant parents, meeting a prospective family completes their mental picture of their child and his or her future. It gives them reassurance and comfort to see, hear, and understand exactly what these prospective parents have to offer. It helps to form trusting relationship.

Each of the waiting families at Adoptions With Love has created an “Adoptive Parent Profile” so that you can get to know who they are and why they have chosen to build their family through adoption. They include letters and pictures for expectant parents like you to read and review. You can see how they live, what they look like, what their hobbies and interests are. While these adoptive profiles are very extensive, phone calls or face-to-face meetings can be even more helpful. Hearing what adoptive parents have to say when asked specific questions, and seeing how they react to these questions, can often be the most telling of all. By meeting a prospective family, you can put a voice to what you have seen in their profile books. You can establish a relationship built on understanding and trust. You can connect with one another, and truly feel secure in your decision.

Adoptions With Love can help you prepare for this decision and the meeting process. You can meet an adoptive family in person, or, if you feel more comfortable, through a phone conversation or internet skype session. It is normal to feel nervous about this next step. Finding the perfect adoptive family for your baby is a very important decision because you also want to make sure they are the right fit for you. To ensure that a family shares the same desires as you for your baby’s future, you want to make sure you ask all of the questions you are interested in knowing:

  • Why did you choose adoption as a way to grow your family?
  • What kind of adoption plan do you desire—open, closed, or something in between?
  • What kind of contact we will have following the placement of this child? (Through letters, pictures, emails, visits, phone calls, etc.?)
  • Do you have other children, or plan to have any more?
  • How long have you been married? (Or, why have you chosen single parenting?)
  • What makes your marriage work?
  • What are your daily schedules like? Will there be a stay at home parent?
  • Why do you feel as though you would make good parents?
  • What are your parenting philosophies? How will you discipline this child?
  • What are you goals for the future, and for the future of my baby?
  • Do you have a college savings plan enacted for him or her?
  • Are you involved with your community? How so?
  • How do you celebrate the holidays?
  • Do you have a large extended family? Are they supportive of this adoption?
  • How will you explain the adoption to this child?
  • How will you refer to me, the birth mother, when speaking to him or her?

As an expectant mother choosing an adoption, you are putting your child’s needs first which is a very brave, unselfish act. Yet you are also giving your child the gift of life, happiness, and support. By using your head, your heart, and asking all of the right questions, you will lovingly choose an adoptive family that will endlessly care, nurture, and provide for your child. Adoptions With Love is working with many waiting families looking to parent. One may be the right one for you. Contact us or call us today to get started at 1-800-722-7731 or text us confidentially at 1-617-777-0072.

For more information on choosing a family for your baby, download our free eBook below!

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Researching and Finding the “Right” Adoptive Family

If you have decided that choosing an adoptive family for your baby is going to be a positive part of your plan, your next step is to carefully consider what you are looking for in a family. Now it is time to do some deeper research. Finding the perfect family for your child can take time, and for some, it can be an overwhelming process. There are hundreds of waiting families out there that want to become parents, and only a handful will be right for you and your child. How will you know you have made the best possible choice?

As a professional adoption agency that has been helping families grow for over 29 years, we have heard that the majority of expectant parents choosing a family have a moment where they just know when they have found the right family to raise their baby. They find a connection, or get a feeling, that confirms just how positive adoption can be. It is this connection that helps expectant/birth parents and adoptive parents establish a beautiful relationship. That relationship can evolve more with time, stemming from a pre-birth bond, and the unconditional love for a child, to a lifetime of comfort, trust, and opportunity.

In order to find the perfect family for your baby you will first need to explore all of your options. Adoptions With Love can help. Once you have carefully considered what you value most in a home, we can better understand exactly what you are looking for, and find the families that best match your desires. You can give your child the home you have always dreamed of, because you have a say in what type of family you wish him or her. This is your child, and this is ultimately your decision. Only you know what path will be right for you and your baby, but we can help by presenting you with adoptive families that are already screened and approved.

If you decide to make an adoption plan with Adoptions With Love, you will work with our team of professionals to determine exactly what you expect from an adoptive family. Once we understand just what type of family you want for your baby, we will send you a personalized selection of profiles from adoptive families that best match your desires, your needs, and your adoption plan. We believe these “Adoptive Family Profiles” are a very special way of initially meeting each waiting family. In each profile is a very personal message from each prospective parent—a message that is for you to read, to understand, and with which you can identify.  As a part of their profile book, hopeful families write letters to you expressing their dreams of parenting, their family history, their values, philosophies, interests, and more. Prospective parents also enclose photographs of their home, neighborhood, their extended family, and even their holiday celebrations or snapshots from family vacations.  These are included so that you can better understand who they are, where they come from, and the life your child will have with them.

At your request, we will send these “Adoptive Family Profiles” in the mail. You will be able to hold each book, each picture, and take time to read through the letters to “get to know” these families. This can be a very intimate experience. Through these profiles, you can determine what type of family feels best for your baby.

After some research, you may feel ready to make take the next step in choosing an adoptive family. If you are interested in talking with the prospective family you choose or wish to meet them in person, Adoptions With Love can make arrangements. If you wish, you can meet the family prior to birth of your child. They will come to you, wherever you are. We can also arrange a phone meeting, if you prefer. At Adoptions With Love, we always follow your comfort level. Even if you decide that you do not want to meet a family in person, we can arrange your plan accordingly. We are here for you.

While you do not have to meet the family, many expectant parents do feel comforted in putting a voice or face to what they have seen in profile books. It can be reassuring to see that your gift of an adoptive family is truly a wonderful reality after all. You are making a brave and selfless decision by choosing a family for your baby, and meeting this adoptive family in person can validate your choice.

For more information on choosing an adoptive family, download our guide at the link below. You can also visit our page of prospective families to get started, or contact Adoptions With Love at 1-800-722-7731 to begin your search for the perfect adoptive parents for your baby.

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Adoption is a Positive Choice

You have many options when facing an unplanned pregnancy and only one choice will be right for you. At Adoptions With Love, we will respect any decision you make. If you are currently pregnant and considering the positive option of adoption, know that you can design an adoption plan that works for you. There is no “one-size-fits-all” adoption. Your plan will be completely unique to you.

Choosing adoption does not only mean choosing a home for your baby. If you wish, you can plan for some future contact with the adoptive family that you choose.  For this reason, many expectant parents find adoption to be the best possible choice for their child. It is a choice made with the deepest love, understanding, and hopes for a child and for the future.

Adoption benefits everyone who is touched by it. Studies have shown that mothers who lovingly place their child for adoption go on to live a very fulfilling life. In comparison to single mothers who decide to parent their child, those who place are more likely to finish school, and have higher educational aspirations. They are also less likely to divorce in the future, and have another single-parent pregnancy. Contrary to what people believe, women that make an adoption plan  are not any more likely to experience negative psychological consequences, such as depression, than are mothers who have children as single parents.

Similarly, adoptive parents often find their “happily-ever-after” following placement. Nearly all of the parents who adopted children through a private, domestic agency describe their adoption experience as better than ever expected, and one of the best decisions of their lives. Adoptive parents, because of the fulfillment of a child, go on to maintain a healthy, loving relationship.

Adopted children also have enriching experiences in their families. Over 90 percent of adopted children ages 5 and older have positive feelings about their adoption. Well over half of all adopted children eat dinner with their families at least six days per week. They are more likely to be read to every day as young children, sung to or told stories every day, and to participate in extracurricular activities as school-age children.

It is normal for you, as an expectant parent, to worry about how your child will cope as he or she grows older and begins to understand the reality of adoption. You may not want your child to be angry with you, hurt by the situation, or feel alone. The fact is adoption has evolved quite a bit over recent years. Many children have peers that are also adopted. Adoptions are no longer secret, and children grow up knowing about their birthparents and have their questions answered. In fact, 99 percent of children today know that they are adopted, and the vast majority of the adoptions today are open or at least semi-open.

By maintaining contact with your child, whether directly or through letters and pictures at Adoptions With Love, your child can grow up understanding your choice to place.  Placing your child for adoption is, above all, a selfless decision. Your child will be grateful for the opportunities that you have given him or her, the opportunities that, at one point, you were unable to provide.

Once you have decided that adoption is a positive choice for you and your baby, we can now begin developing your adoption plan.  An agency such as Adoptions With Love can help you design a plan most appropriated to your wants and needs as an expectant mother. You can choose the adoptive family, as well as the amount of contact you want with them before the baby’s birth and following the placement. You make a hospital plan so that you can have control over your time in the hospital. Our team of adoption professionals will work closely beside you to ensure that you are comfortable with your adoption plan at each stage of your journey.

Please check out our latest infographic to see all of the stats!