Archive for July, 2015

How to Choose a Family – Considerations (Finances, Education and Environment)

This is part 2 in our recent series on the things to consider when choosing a family for your baby.  For part one on Family, Faith and Ethnicity click here.

As an expectant mother today, you have a say in how your plan will go. As you may have read in our most recent guide, How to Choose an Adoptive Family, part of this plan can involve finding a loving, secure home for your child. Many expectant parents find great comfort in making this brave decision. It reduces the anxiety or doubts one may have about adoption. As an expectant/birth mother, you have the opportunity to give your child the perfect family. You can feel confident in your choice, and your child will be grateful that you made such a compassionate decision for his or her future.

Adoption is largely about trust. We want you to trust in yourself to make this decision, and to trust whichever family you choose for your baby. Our team at Adoptions With Love encourages you to speak openly about what you desire in an adoptive family. We will help you create a list of wishes, priorities, and qualities you would like your baby’s family to possess. We will then help you sort through them to determine what is most important to you.

Adoptions With Love works with all types of prospective families. As you consider each one carefully, take into account what type of relationship and communication you want in the future with your child’s family.  Do you want to meet them prior to the baby’s birth? Do you want to maintain communication with them over the years?  Do you want to meet with them on a regular basis?  You can do this via email, texting, Skype, phone calls, or our letter and picture program. Open adoption provides many options for you and your relationship with an adoptive family.

You also have the option of choosing a family with a specific type of environment. For instance, you may want your child to be raised in a safe, close-knit neighborhood community. You may want them to live in a rural area surrounded by nature and room to play or in a larger city with boundless social and educational opportunities. As you begin your research, take note of the adoptive families’ homes, the activities around them, and the public/private schools in the area.

In choosing the perfect family for your baby, try to also consider how important education is to you, and how much the adoptive family values academics. Have the prospective parents completed a higher education? Do they have plans and resources to send your child off to college? What are their goals for the future and the future of your baby?

Often, an adoptive family’s education can indicate their level of financial stability. The waiting families at Adoptions With Love all have varying levels of income, but all are financially secure. Each prospective family at our agency has undergone a series of background checks to ensure that they can fully provide for a child.

As a private, non-profit adoption agency, Adoptions With Love has a very good relationship with each of our adoptive families. We assure you that each waiting family is ready and able to give your child the best home that he or she deserves. Any choice you make will be a wonderful one. For more information on choosing the right adoptive family for your baby, read our full guide today. Adoption is a positive choice. Selecting a family for your baby and building a relationship with the adoptive family can be a beautiful and courageous process.

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How to Choose a Family – Considerations (Structure, Faith & Values, Culture)

Choosing a family for your baby is a very important step to making an adoption plan. Every expectant parent desires something different, something unique that they aim to provide for their child through an adoptive family. Some parents only really need to know that their child will grow up in a loving, supportive home. For others, there may be more specific desires or particular characteristics they hope a family can provide.

Deciding on what you are looking for in an adoptive family can take time. As an agency that has been working alongside expectant mothers and prospective families for almost 30 years, we encourage you to take advantage of this time. Take time not only with your decision of a family, but also in deciding exactly what you feel is most important to you. What do you want for your baby? What are you looking for in an adoptive family, and what will you expect from them?

It is okay if you do not know exactly what you are looking for initially. Many of the expectant parents that come to Adoptions With Love are unsure of where to begin at first, but with assistance they design an adoption plan with which they are comfortable. They find a connection: something in common, something desires within the family they choose. This is what brings comfort to an expectant mother choosing a family for her baby. She knows when the right family comes along.

Try to close your eyes. Paint a picture in your mind of your child in the future. What does that picture look like? More than likely, you already know just what you want for your baby. Maybe you wish that your baby has the same kind of childhood you had—with a backyard, and a small neighborhood, and lots of pets, but you are unable to provide these at this point in your life. Or, maybe you wish for your child the things you never had, and the opportunities you wish you had as a child. Right now, these wishes may seem like a dream. While in fact, these options are right in front of you. Adoptions With Love has many waiting families all sharing the dream of parenthood. You can choose the perfect family for your baby, and spin these dreams into realities. Start by considering:

Family Structure: Family structure is one aspect to consider when choosing a family for your baby. Families come in all shapes and sizes. You can decide what type of household will be most beneficial for your baby. Start by thinking about what kind of parents you would like to raise your child. Do you prefer him or her to grow up with a husband-wife couple that cannot have children due to infertility? Or, do you prefer your child to be raised by a same-sex couple, who could not biologically have a baby otherwise? Do you welcome the idea of a single mom to raise your child? Consider if you would like there to be a stay at home parent.

Next, think of the larger picture. Will your child grow up as an only child, or will they grow and learn with siblings.  You may also wish there to be pets in the household, and a larger extended family with which to celebrate the holidays. These decisions are up to you.

Background/Ethnicity/Appearance: Some expectant parents desire an adoptive family that looks similar to them, or has certain attributes that may also be reflected in their child—hair color, skin color, freckles, curly hair. Expectant parents often find it important for an adoptive family to come from a similar background.  By having this cultural relation, they feel that their child will truly “fit in” to the adoptive family.

Decide if there are certain traditions you want your child to partake in culturally. Are there specific holidays you want him or her to celebrate? Does it matter if your child will grow up in a home that celebrates Christmas, or Chanukah, or both?

Religion: You may not have a religious preference for your child, but for some expectant mothers and fathers, this could be a deciding factor. You, of course, know what is right for your baby in your heart, mind, and soul. Do not ever be afraid to express that to us. We will help you find a family that believes as you do, if that is what you wish.

Sometimes, none of these specific considerations matter to expectant parents. Sometimes, choosing a family lies only in that single connection—that spark that will truly bond two families into one. A connection can evolve from anything, but it always begins within the heart.

Before you choose a family, consider engaging in conversation with one of our adoption professionals to help you in this decision. We can talk with you in depth about your wishes as an expectant mother. By doing so, we can better understand what you are looking for in a family. You can also better understand why you are here, and why your choice of adoption is such a positive one. We admire you for wanting to be a part of this process.

Your personal choices matter to us, and Adoptions With Love will always put those first in finding a family for your baby. If you decide you do not want to choose a family, we will fully respect that decision. We can chose the family for you. Your plan will be tailored to you.

Adoption gives your baby a beautiful life, a life that you can choose if you would like. No matter how your plan unfolds, know that a loving and secure adoptive family will be there both for you and your baby. So will we.

For more information on how to choose an adoptive family for your baby, download our full guide here. Call us at 1-800-722-7731 or confidentially text us at 1-617-777-0072 today for more information on how to get your plan started.

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How to Choose an Adoptive Family for your Baby [Infographic]

Adoption continues to change every day, and many people are seeing it in new light. Today, expectant/birth mothers have more say in their adoption plan than ever before. As an expectant mother, you can choose a life for your baby, and map out the specific details you want to be a part of that life. You can even play a significant role in it, if you wish.

You may have not planned this pregnancy, but you still have the opportunity to lovingly create a plan for your child. Many expectant parents do this by finding the perfect adoptive family for their baby. By choosing an adoptive family, you are also providing your child with a life of opportunity, stability, and love.

If you are currently facing an unplanned pregnancy and would like to choose an adoptive family for your child, read on for more information. Adoptions With Love has created the following infographic to show you just who these waiting adoptive families are, and how adoption can benefit everyone it graces: you, the birth parent, your baby, and the family you choose.

The choice is yours. At Adoptions With Love, 100 percent of expectant parents have the ability to choose an adoptive family for their child. The majority of those who make this courageous decision often have the most positive experiences after placement. Choosing a family for your baby can offer you great comfort, knowing that you truly gave him or her something exceptional.

Making an adoption plan can bring harmony to your life, to your child’s life, and to the life of a loving adoptive family. We hope that the following infographic will show you just how positive adoption can be, and how choosing an adoptive family can ease your heart and mind as you begin this journey.

For additional information, please also download our free eBook:

The Guide to Choosing a Family For Your Baby

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Creating Your Adoption Profile: Five Considerations for Prospective Adoptive Families

The adoption process has changed greatly over the last 30 years. In the past, the majority of adoptions were closed. Birth parents had no say in where their child would be placed.   They could not choose an adoptive family, meet prospective parents, or share their desires about the cultural, spiritual, and familial influences they hoped would be present in their child’s life. Adoption has taken great strides since then, and Adoptions With Love has experienced the positive experience of open adoptions firsthand.

Today, nearly all of the adoptions that take place through our agency directly involve both the expectant/birth parents and the adoptive parents. Each family has the opportunity to get to know one another through emails, phone conversations, or in person if they wish. This contact allows them to decide whether or not there is a match before an adoption is pursued.

At the beginning of their journey, adoptive families create adoption profiles to help expectant/birth parents get a sense of who they are. Expectant/birth parents will look through adoptive parent profiles before determining who will be the best fit for their child. It is this adoption profile that truly makes the first impression. As a result, prospective parents should consider it carefully. For the expectant/birth mother, these profiles serve as a very first look into the life of the family that will soon raise her baby. It paints a picture of what kind of home her child will have: Will her child have siblings? Will he or she enjoy the close community of a small town, or have countless opportunities in the city? Are the adoptive parents religious, educated, outdoorsy?  Mostly, the expectant/birthparent may be looking for some type of connection to you. The more you put in, the better.

If you are a prospective parent in the beginning stages of creating
an adoptive family profile, consider the following five questions:

  1. What do you want your profile to “say”?
    As an adoptive family, you have a story to tell: how you got here, what you have been doing, and where you want to go.  Why are you in the adoption process? The goal of an adoption profile is not to connect with every expectant parent out there, but to connect with the right one for you. Through your profile, you should show the birthmother how you are the best match for her child, and that you can give her child something no one else can. You will be chosen for something that sets you apart from other adoptive families, not for your similarities.
  2. How will a birthmother remember you?
    The most successful adoptions occur when adoptive parents and birth parents make a strong connection before the birth of the baby. This connection can be anything from a common love for dogs, to a shared career path in nursing, to a mutual interest in hiking. It is some sort of common ground that makes an expectant/birth parent feel more at ease about the adoption process. It establishes some ground for trust, and the foundation in which a relationship can evolve.  The most important thing to keep in mind when beginning your profile is to be yourself. Be honest and genuine about who you are and your values in life. The more authentic you are in communicating your true personality, lifestyle, and parenting philosophies, the more real you will become to the birthparents.
  3. Why are you here? Expectant/birth mothers are often curious of why prospective families want to adopt in the first place.  Most expectant/birth parents want to place their child with a family who is unable to have a child.  In this way, they feel that they are giving this child the best opportunity in life and doing something good for a family that is unable to have a child on their own.  Sharing your journey to adoption with the expectant parents is a vital part of this process, but it is very important to remain positive as you tell your story. You may mention a struggle with infertility, and the positive lessons you have learned from that struggle. Express your hopes and dreams of parenthood, and your plan for raising a child in the future. Expectant/birth parents are often looking for a solution—a home bigger than theirs, a larger income to provide for their child, a solid support system that they cannot offer. Explain how you can give all of these, and more, if you were to raise their child.
  4. Are you engaging your reader? You do not have to be a creative writer to let your true personality shine through your adoptive family profile. Try to be consistent in staying true to your own voice. Be humorous, and use anecdotes if you would normally. Use the tone you are most comfortable with to tell your story.
  5. Are you engaging your viewer? Show more than tell. In creating a profile, it is important for an adoptive family to use pictures to visually engage the expectant parents.. Consider carefully what photos say “you” the most. A photo of your immediate family smiling makes a great cover photo for your album, while the content photos inside should tell a more personal story. Use wedding photos, to show how much love the child will have. If you are athletic, choose a photo of you playing or coaching sports. If you love an adventure, use a picture of the family enjoying a hike. In many cases, a picture can be greater than words.  Your profile should be colorful, active, funny and show love.

Creating an adoption profile can be intimidating at first for prospective adoptive families. They require a lot of thought, dedication, and time. These profiles serve as the main tool in helping expectant/birth parents learn more about you as an adoptive parent. That is why we are here to help. Going through an adoption agency such as Adoptions With Love will be extremely beneficial as you tie the loose ends of your adoption profile together and begin your journey towards building or enlarging your family.

Not only can Adoptions With Love help you build your adoption profile and assist in letter writing and album design, but we can also help you reach expectant parents. An adoption profile promoted by a licensed agency will be better received than a family profile posted on the internet, because we are committed to you and your desire to have a child to love and cherish.

To learn more about building an adoption profile, what topics to cover when drafting your story, or about specifics on our profile requirements at Adoptions With Love, give us a call today at 1-800-722-7731.